The Mysterious Case of Miss Brown
by MissBrownClue13
Summary: Miss Brown, a smart elegant English aristocrat's daughter travelled to Hill House on that eventful night expecting something very different to what happened. Just what is her connection to the murders that occurred?
1. Miss Brown's Unexpected Arrival

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Clue, the board game or movie. Those are copyright of Hasbro and Paramount Pictures. The only suspect I own is Miss Brown, and her relations to the other characters.**

**This story is for anyone who loves the film or the game, and always wondered how Wadsworth came to be such a maniac.**

**It is, of course, dedicated to Miss Cordelia Brown (Hartley) the forgotten guest.  
**

Chapter One: Miss Brown's Unexpected Arrival.

Miss Cordelia Hartley was the forgotten guest at Hill House, she was part of the events that happened but everyone had agreed to remove her from the story. Not because of her irritating habit of squealing whenever she felt like it, or making irrelevant comments, but because she had another half of the story to tell. One that some of the guests wanted to prevent her from telling.

Cordelia Hartley was cruising along the highway toward a grim-looking house on the hill in her prized brown Rolls Royce attended by her chauffeur who was driving the car. Feeling rather excited and yet nervous at meeting the former member of staff from her English home for the first time in years, Cordelia quickly added some powder to her cheeks and nose and tightened her silver mink coat around her.

"This it, Miss?" Asked the chauffeur curiously.

Cordelia racked her brains desperately trying to remember the address.

"It is called Hill House, Matthew."

"Well then, this ain't it. What about that gloomy place up there? It's on a hill."

"Yes, that would be it, Matthew. Drive on."

Matthew pulled into the path leading up to the house and Cordelia stared up at it in horror.

"Oh goodness. This must be the place."

"Yes, my lady. It says on the plaque there." The headlights hit a stone plaque on the walls forming the gateway to the house.

"Oh dear."

"Would you like me to turn around, Miss?" Matthew asked.

"No, no. I'm sure it will be fine…oh dash it!" She suddenly exclaimed, checking her dainty silver watch, "I am late! Oh, Matthew, I know…"

"Not to worry, Miss." He pressed down slightly harder on the accelerator and drove her up to the front door, where several other cars were parked, including a familiar black one. Fortunately, Cordelia was so preoccupied with reaching the door without getting wet that she did not notice.

The chauffeur tipped his hat.

"What time would you like to be collected, my lady?"

"I believe it should be about eleven o clock or midnight. Please inform my husband when he returns that I plan to stay at the dinner party for the evening, thank you Matthew."

"Not at all, my Lady. Would you like me to wait around and make sure you're ok?"

"No, that won't be necessary. I had best make my entrance now, before they lock the doors." She gave a nervous giggle as she walked up to the door and pulled the bell cord.

The two dogs in the kennel growled at her as she did so, and she frowned at them.

"That's not very nice, is it?"

The dogs seemed to ignore this comment for they yawned and went back to chewing some beef bones.

******

Inside the house, the guests were all sitting around at dinner when the doorbell rang.

"Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, I'll just get the door." Explained Wadsworth, walking out of the room to the front door.

Standing in the doorway was a petite young woman of about twenty. She had a very attractive face, a pale complexion, and dark green eyes. Her hair was elegantly curled in gentle waves down to her shoulders, and her coat was made of silvery mink with a fur collar.

"Good evening, madam." He began.

"Good evening, sir. I must say, your directions to this address were appalling. It took my chauffeur several times before he found the right path. Also, upon my arrival, I was greeted by these horrible dogs, they growled at me."

"I am sorry to hear that, madam. I believe you have received a letter inviting you to this address?"

"Yes. You seem very familiar, sir."

"I can assure you, Madam, I have no recollection of meeting you beforehand. If I have had the pleasure, I apologise."

"Oh, how flattering."

"May I take your coat, madam?"

"Why, thank you kind sir." The butler removed her coat revealing an attractive rose pink floor length gown with a rose brooch attached to the centre. She wrinkled her nose, there was definitely a strong unpleasant odour. Wadsworth set her coat on a hook in the cloakroom. "And who can I express my gratitude to?"

"I am Wadsworth, madam, the butler of this household."

"And I am Cord…"

"I know who you are, madam. The guests here are all addressed by a pseudonym. I trust you received your own in the letter?"

"I do not believe so, sir."

"I see." Wadsworth looked puzzled. "Never mind, I shall simply have to give you a name."

"I have my own, sir. It is Cordel…."

"No, under no circumstances must you use your real name."

"So what is your name, sir?"

"Wadsworth," Wadsworth repeated crossly, "and you are to be Miss Brown for tonight."

"Very well, Mr Wadsworth."

"Close enough." Wadsworth sighed, "You are to tell the guests that you are a housewife. Your husband is a highly respected accountant for your father."

"But I don't have a husband. You know that, Mr Wadsworth." Miss Brown replied.

"Please, Miss Brown," Wadsworth hissed, "you do have a husband. For tonight anyway."

"But that is a lie." Retorted Miss Brown, "I don't hold with telling lies."

"Oh, but for tonight you must. If all goes according to plan, you could be very wealthy indeed. Now follow my instructions."

She turned toward the door. Wadsworth held it shut with his hand.

"Remember what I told you, Miss Brown," He snapped, then in a more polite tone, he added: "If you'd like to follow me to the dining room Miss Brown."

Miss Brown followed Wadsworth into the dining room where she was greeted with mixed reactions.

"May I present Miss Brown. This is Colonel Mustard, Miss Scarlet, Mr Green, Mrs White, Professor Plum and Mrs Peacock." He indicated the other guests to Miss Brown who gave a quick curtsy before Wadsworth ushered her to her seat opposite the head of the table.

"Hello." Murmured some of the guests. Miss Scarlet gave Miss Brown a hard glare.

"Do take a seat, Miss Brown."

"I must apologise for being awfully late, you see my chauffeur had a little trouble finding the house." Explained the nervous girl, taking a seat at the opposite end of the table and placing her small drawstring purse and clutch bag on the floor.

"Hmm." Murmured Mrs White.

"So what do you do for a living, Miss Brown?" Asked Mrs Peacock.

"Give the girl a chance to sit down, please Mrs Peacock." Corrected Wadsworth.

"Oh don't worry about that, Mrs Peacock. I beg your pardon, what was your question?"

"What do you do for a living?"

"I...A housewife."

"Some profession." Scoffed Miss Scarlet. "24 hour job, that. Keeping your husband happy. Why didn't he come with you?"

"He..." She paused and glanced up at Wadsworth who widened his eyes at her. "well...he's very busy...he's a kind of...butler..."

"Like you Wadsworth." Grinned Miss Scarlet.

"Oh, no...my husband...he...works at a mansion for a lovely family...I don't mind. I just look after the house." Wadsworth rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"Are you a real Colonel, sir?" Asked Miss Brown curiously.

"Yes, Mam."

"My father was a Major. He joined up when we moved here."

"What regiment?"

But the colonel did not get the chance to reply, for Wadsworth had re-entered with the next course.

As Wadsworth presented Miss Brown with a bowl he smiled at her, and she grinned weakly in return, not knowing how to interpret the smile.

"What exactly is this?" She asked him.

"A very unusual and special dish, Miss Brown. Prepared in the best way."

Miss Brown took hold of her fork and held it delicately in her left hand. The others turned to stare at her, and Wadsworth hissed:

"Transfer the fork to the other hand, Miss Brown."

She began to raise a mouthful to her lips and then paused. Somehow, it didn't smell right.

"May I proceed to the next course, please?" She asked.

"The dish is not to your taste, Miss Brown?" Replied Wadsworth, curiously, filling the other guests' glasses with wine.

"No...I...am not a 'big eater'." She answered.

Mrs Peacock tutted.

"This is one of my favourite recipes." She announced.

"I know, madam." Wadsworth replied, and his eyes travelled around the table to Miss Brown. "Very well, Miss Brown, would you care for something else? Some fruit, maybe? Or a slice of cheesecake?"

"No thank you." Miss Brown lowered her hands to her lap and sat patiently waiting for the other guests to finish. However, her refusal to eat seemed to have caused a similar problem with the other guests, apart from Mrs Peacock, who seemed to be ravenously hungry as she shovelled her way through the dish.

The conversation began to dwindle into silence until the atmosphere became so uncomfortable that Mrs Peacock had to speak.

"Well, someone's got to break the ice, and it might as well be me. I mean, I'm used to being a hostess; it's part of my husband's work, and it's always difficult when a group of new friends meet together for the first time to get acquainted, so I'm perfectly prepared to start the ball rolling . . . I mean, I have absolutely no idea what we're doing here, or what I'm doing here, or what this place is about, but I am determined to enjoy myself and I'm very intrigued and oh, my, this soup's delicious isn't it?" All the guests including Miss Brown looked up to stare at Mrs Peacock in amazement.

"You say you are used to being a hostess as part of your husband's work?" Asked Mrs White curiously.

"Yes, it's an integral part of your life when you are the wife of a. . . oh, but then I forgot we're not supposed to say who we really are, though heavens to Betsy, I don't know why."

"Don't you?" Snapped Colonel Mustard, crisply.

"I know who you are." Exclaimed Mr Green.

"How do you know who I am?" Demanded Mrs Peacock

"I work in Washington too."

"Oh, so you're a politician's wife." Suggested Professor Plum.

"Yes...yes I am." Mrs Peacock replied, looking flustered.

"Well, come on then, who is your husband?" Demanded the colonel.

"Oh, a politician, Mrs Peacock just said."

Wadsworth shook his head.

"No, Miss Brown, the colonel was referring to his name, not his occupation."

Miss Scarlet laughed.

"Oh." Sighed Miss Brown sadly, "I must say, Mrs Peacock I do love your hat."

"Why, thank you, my dear."

"I love feathers." Miss Brown continued.

"That's why you're such a feather-brain, is it?" Mocked Miss Scarlet cruelly.

"Now, Miss Scarlet..." Stammered Wadsworth.

"Oh, no, I just like pretty things."

"Hmm, so do I." Professor Plum agreed, looking across the table at Miss Scarlet, who pulled a disgusted face.

"Whereabouts in Washington do you work, Mrs Peacock?" Asked Colonel Mustard.

"Just in the main area, you know."

"Oh, how strange. My husband works there, too."

"I thought you said your husband was a butler?" Interrupted Mrs Peacock.

"He is. In a house in Washington."

"Oh I see."

"That's probably why she can't keep her mouth shut." Miss Scarlet hissed.

"What do you mean, Miss Scarlet?" Asked Colonel Mustard.

"Miss Brown usually can't keep her mouth shut, she finds it difficult to keep secrets, don't you, Miss Brown?"

"I don't know what you mean, Miss Scarlet," Replied Miss Brown, and Wadsworth narrowed his eyes at her.

"So what does your husband do?" Miss Brown asked Mrs White.

"Nothing." She snapped as though flustered. "Well, he just…lies around on his back all day."

"Sounds like hard work to me." Murmured Miss Scarlet in agreement.

Yvette threw up the serving hatch just as another clap of thunder roared, causing Mr Green to spill his glass over Miss Scarlet.

"Ooh!" Miss Brown squealed.

"Not a lover of thunder, Miss Brown?" Asked the professor.

"No…no…" She shivered, "I…I…just don't like storms."

"Don't worry, Miss Brown," Wadsworth told her, laying a hand on her shoulder, "we're all afraid of something." Miss Brown brushed off his hand, somehow his touch made her feel very uneasy.

"Like a kid." Hissed Miss Scarlet to Colonel Mustard.

"Yeah." He agreed.

To Wadsworth's relief the doorbell rang again, and the guests shuffled uncomfortably in their seats.

Wadsworth opened the door and gave a strained smile to the visitor. He was not exactly attractive, giving off an air of malevolence, and cunning. In one hand he was holding a small suitcase and in the other, a black umbrella.

"Ah, Mr Boddy, you are eagerly awaited."

"I find that hard to believe." The guest replied in a sleek, sleazy tone, "This ain't ya place, I take it?"

"No, sir." Wadsworth replied politely, "it is on loan." He gestured for the visitor to enter. Mr Boddy did so, sneering at Wadsworth as he passed him.

"What are ya meant to be?"

Wadsworth smiled politely.

"I am supposed to be polite, sir. Though when talking to you, I find that the task is almost beyond me."

Mr Boddy appeared affronted. He held a finger up within an inch of Wadsworth's face.

"Just one thing, 'Wadsworth'. I know who ya really are, and you don't wanna forget it."

"May I take your bag, sir?" Wadsworth suggested, firmly.

"No, I'll leave it here, 'til I need it."

At this, Wadsworth turned to lock the door.

"Are you lockin' me in?" Asked the deeper voice, "I'll take the key."

"Over my dead body sir. I suppose your case contains the evidence…"

"Surprises my friend, that's what it contains, surprises."

They began to walk to the dining room, Wadsworth attempting to make polite conversation, as was his way.

"Have you just arrived from Washington, sir?"

Mr Boddy ignored him, looking around.

"Yes, it's a long haul."

"Indeed it is," Agreed the butler enthusiastically, "but then again, it is a rather large house."

Mr Boddy turned to look at Wadsworth.

"Ya think ya quite a 'fellow' don't'cha?"

Seconds later they appeared in the doorway leading into the dining room, a slick haired stocky man with small cunning eyes and a crooked grin, and Wadsworth.

Wadsworth gave a reassuring grin to the guests as Mr Boddy entered, causing Miss Brown to give a start.

"May I present Mr Boddy?" Explained Wadsworth quickly.

"What are they all doin' here?" Mr Boddy demanded.

"Eating dinner. Do sit down, Mr Boddy." Wadsworth instructed. Mr Boddy took his seat, glancing around at the revolted faces of the guests. He caught sight of Miss Brown and grinned slyly.

"So nice to see you again, doll."

"Are you talking to me?" Asked Miss Brown, in her eloquent voice.

"Well, of course, honey. Who else would he be talkin' to?" Sneered Miss Scarlet.

"I'm sure I don't know, Miss Scarlet." Replied Miss Brown crisply, "I'm afraid I don't recall meeting you, sir." She added to Mr Boddy.

Mr Boddy gave a harsh chuckle.

"Oh, don't worry doll. We won't tell anybody."

Wadsworth looked questionably at her and then at Mr Boddy.

"Come on, Miss Brown, you're foolin' nobody with your dumb innocent little girl act. I know all about you."

"Miss Scarlet, that's twice you've said that. If you have something to say, say it." Snapped Colonel Mustard.

"Just remember who you're talkin' to, sweetie pie." Scoffed Scarlet, "I've got dirt I could dish on you, too."

"That's quite enough, Miss Scarlet." Commanded Wadsworth.

"Oh what the heck." She threw her napkin down on her plate crossly, "She's responsible for the demise of most of the people on this table. Of course, none of it matters to you cos your daddy is a multi-millionaire."

"I've never heard anything so ridiculous," Exclaimed Mrs Peacock, "The girl told us that her husband has to work. How can she be a multi millionaire?"

"Maybe she's not telling us the truth." Suggested the Professor.

"Well I know I've never seen her before," agreed Mrs White, "I'm pretty sure I'd know her."


	2. Wadsworth's Threat

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"Yes yes. I believe we all received a letter," Announced Wadsworth, desperately trying to steer the guests away from what he considered to be dangerous waters, "my letter says 'It will be to your advantage to be present on this date, for a Mr Boddy will bring to an end a long-standing and painful financial agreement. It is signed 'a friend'."

"I received a similar letter," Remarked Mr Boddy, "but it didn't tell me that the pretty doll at the other end of the table was going to be here."

"So I take it that your letter did not say the same?"

"No," Replied Mr Boddy curtly.

"I see. Can I interest you in fruit or dessert?" Wadsworth looked around at the guests who seemed to be appalled, apart from Miss Brown who looked extremely uncomfortable. Little did she know, things were about to get much worse.

"Then may I suggest that we adjourn to the study for coffee and brandy?" He gestured into the hallway.

"Oh, that might be a problem." Miss Brown exclaimed as she stood up.

"Yes?" Asked Wadsworth.

"Well, you see, I don't drink coffee or brandy, I only drink tea, or sometimes a small port."

Wadsworth looked stunned.

"I don't believe we have any port, but..."

"Wadsworth, there's some in the cupboard," Mr Boddy told him.

"Oh, but sir, I really must insist..."

"Give her the port if that's what she wants, Wadsworth." He smiled crookedly at Miss Brown who flushed.

"I see." replied Wadsworth, looking a little cross, "That won't be a problem, Miss Brown. As Mr Boddy here has said, we have some port which you may use."

"Oh, that's wonderful. I would hate to be of an inconvenience."

"God forbid." Muttered Miss Scarlet as she left the dining room. Miss Brown quickly slipped away from the dining room after the others but instead of going to the study as instructed she hid in the billiard room next door.

"Yvette, will you join us in the study for coffee and brandy?" Asked Wadsworth.

"Oui, Monsieur." She replied.

"After you then, Yvette." Wadsworth ushered the guests across the hall into the study, followed by Mr Boddy. He then returned to the kitchen to fetch the wine and Miss Brown's port.

When he returned, the guests had already taken their seats, but Miss Brown was nowhere to be seen.

"Where is Miss Brown?" Wadsworth asked, looking slightly flustered.

"You got something going on with her, Wadsworth?" Demanded Miss Scarlet scornfully.

"No I don't, Scarlet." Wadsworth retorted, and slammed the door.

He heard muffled sobs from the next room and opened it to find Miss Brown perched on a bench dabbing her wet eyes with a lace handkerchief.

"James...why are you doing this to me?" She sobbed.

Wadsworth's face suddenly changed. The friendly look was gone from his face. He now looked angry, angrier than Miss Brown had ever seen him, his eyes were blazing, and he leaned over her his hand flat against the wall.

"Firstly, Cordelia, it is not James whilst you are here. You MUST address me as Wadsworth. Secondly, you know exactly why you are here. I don't expect to have to tell you again. If you say one word, just one word, my girl...it won't just be Boddy you'll have to worry about."

"Oh," Miss Brown choked, wringing her hands. "why did I have to get mixed up in this?"

"You know why, Cordelia." He snapped, losing patience with her. "For heaven's sake, smarten yourself up before you go back to the study. I don't want the other guests thinking that you were intimidated or threatened. It just won't do. Now, put on a smile, and go back to the study."

"James," Began Miss Brown, standing up, "if I somehow manage to come out of this, I hope you realise...what you will have lost..."

"I will have lost nothing." Replied Wadsworth coldly. Miss Brown shot him a hurt look and slammed the door. Wadsworth sighed. It was going to be a long evening for all.

Miss Brown returned to the study, a little ruffled and emotional, but with a great false smile on her face.

"Been busy, have you?" Asked Miss Scarlet teasingly.

"I don't know what you mean, Miss Scarlet." Miss Brown answered.

"Tell us the truth, I've heard enough crap." demanded the colonel firmly, "what's your connection with Wadsworth?"

But Miss Brown did not get the chance to answer, for Wadsworth re-entered the study and Mr Boddy was leaning lazily in a chair by the door.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm instructed to you what you all have  
in common with each other. Unless you would care to do the honours, Mr. Boddy?" Wadsworth asked. Mr Boddy gave a crooked smile and lifted his hand.  
"Why me? They know who I am?"

"I don't think so. You've never identified yourself to them, I believe."  
Suddenly My Boddy stood up, as though alarmed.  
"It's a hoax!" he announced, "I suggest we all leave."

Miss Brown instantly recognised the fury in Wadsworth's eyes. Luckily none of the other guests appeared to have noticed, but Miss Scarlet was observing Miss Brown from across the room.  
"I'm sorry, sir, you cannot leave this house!" Cried Wadsworth, jumping from the desk and racing after Mr Boddy.  
"No? Who's gonna stop me?" He demanded. The other guests followed suit, including Miss Brown, whom Wadsworth was taking care not to let her out of his sight.  
"There's no way out." Wadsworth told the man crisply as he attempted to escape.  
"All the windows have bars, all the doors are locked."  
"This is an outrage! You can't hold us prisoner!"  
The guests appeared to agree with this, for they began to dispute.  
"Ladies and gentlemen, please! Please return to the study.  
Everything will be explained." He reassured them. "That includes you sir."  
Not altogether reassured, the guests returned to the study, Miss Brown lagging behind. Wadsworth was so determined not to lose sight of her that he did not see Mr Boddy run past him toward the rear of the hall.

A little worried about what might happen if he managed to escape, he followed suit, and chased him into the conservatory.

Whilst Wadsworth was away, the guests poured drinks and settled themselves into seats and waited impatiently for the butler to return. They were already becoming slightly suspicious of him, as though he wasn't all that he seemed.

"What do you think we're here for?" Asked Mrs Peacock suddenly, breaking the silence.

"My guess is that its a set up to draw even more money out of us." Suggested Professor Plum crossly.

"Oh come on," Sneered Miss Scarlet, "even he wouldn't be that dumb."  
She was interrupted by the return of Wadsworth and Mr Boddy, who reluctantly took his former seat by the door. Wadsworth was busy perusing the 'evidence' and preparing himself for a speech. He looked up and in a cold voice, began.  
"Ladies and gentlemen, you all have one thing in common. You're all being blackmailed. For some considerable time, all of you have been paying what you can afford and, in some cases, more than you can afford to someone who threatens to expose you.  
And none of you know who's blackmailing you, do you?"  
Mrs Peacock looked startled.

"Oh, please! I've never heard anything so ridiculous. I mean, nobody could blackmail me. My life is an open book--I've never done anything wrong." She gabbled.  
"Anybody else wish to deny it?" Demanded Wadsworth, looking around the room.

"Yes, I do." Announced Miss Brown and Wadsworth's face drained.


	3. All is Revealed

"You do?" Miss Scarlet gave a cruel chuckle. "Honey, we've known that since you've arrived."

"You wish to deny it, Miss Brown?" Repeated Wadsworth taking out a diary from the envelope.

"I...I..." Stammered Miss Brown, knowing all too well what the diary contained.

"I didn't think so."

"Oh, what's in the diary then, Wadsworth?" Questioned Miss Scarlet excitedly.

"That is confidential, Miss Scarlet, will you please take your seat."

Miss Brown shrank back in her seat and Mrs White offered her another handkerchief.

"Now. As everyone here is in the same boat, there's no harm in my revealing some details. And my instructions are to do so. Thank you, Yvette."

Yvette left, unaware that Mr Boddy's eyes were watching her.

"Don't you think you might spare us this humiliation?" Asked Mrs White tearfully.

"I'm sorry." He apologised, but Miss Brown recognised his tone as being totally untruthful. "Professor Plum, you were once a professor of psychiatry, specializing in helping paranoid and homicidal lunatics suffering from delusions of grandeur."

The professor looked slightly shocked at being addressed in this way, but ignored it as Wadsworth went on.

"Yes, but now I work for the United Nations."

"So your work has not changed." he gave a dry laugh but no-one reacted, so returning to his butler manner, he continued briskly. "But you don't practice medicine at the U.N. His license to practice has been lifted, correct?"

Professor Plum twitched uncomfortably, taking another puff of his pipe. Miss Scarlet grinned and took a drag of her cigarette.

"Why? What did he do?" She asked eagerly.

"That's not really any concern of yours, is it, Miss Scarlet?" Exclaimed Miss Brown.

"Did I ask you for your opinion?" Miss Scarlet demanded crossly. Miss Brown shook her head. "Then keep your trap shut."

"Ladies, please," Interrupted Wadsworth. "May I continue?"

Both women nodded.

"You know what doctors aren't allowed to do with their lady patients?"

"Yeah?" Replied Miss Scarlet.

"Well, he did."

Miss Scarlet gave a harsh laugh and swung her legs over the desk.

"Oh, how disgusting." Remarked Mrs Peacock.

"Are you making moral judgement, Mrs Peacock?"

"I…well...yes." She replied, "But there is nothing that I am ashamed of. So please, leave me alone."

"I'm sure we're all glad to hear that." Sneered Wadsworth taking a seat next to her. "But you've been paying blackmail for over a year now to keep "that story" out of the papers."

"Please, Wadsworth, can we stop now. People are getting hurt, and all you seem to care about is humiliating them." Interjected Miss Brown softly.

"I am not humiliating them, I am doing it for their own good." Replied Wadsworth, sending a piercing glare at her.

"Well, I am willing to believe you.

I too am being blackmailed for something I didn't do." Agreed Mrs White.

"Me too." Added Mr Green and the Colonel.

"Not me." Grinned Miss Scarlet, looking very pleased with herself.

"You're not being blackmailed?" Demanded Wadsworth curiously.

"Oh, I'm being blackmailed, all right. But I did what I'm being blackmailed for."

"Oh let me guess," Began Miss Brown, "you're one of those..."

"What did you do?" Questioned Professor Plum, cutting over Miss Brown.

"Well, to be perfectly frank, I run a specialized hotel and a telephone service which provide gentlemen with the company of a young lady for a short while."

"Oh yeah?" Began Professor Plum, drawing a notepad and pen out of his pocket. "What's the phone number?"

Miss Scarlet sniffed and took another drag of her cigarette.

"So how did you know that Colonel Mustard works in Washington? Is he one of your clients?" Asked Mr Green curiously.

"Certainly not!" Snapped the Colonel.

"I was asking Miss Scarlet." Mr Green retorted, "so is it true?"

"It's not true." Replied Miss Scarlet.

"No, it is true." The colonel sighed.

"So it is true?"

"A double negative!" Exclaimed Wadsworth.

"Oh God. You have," the colonel lowered his voice, "photographs."

"Photographs of what?" Questioned Miss Brown.

The colonel's face drained.

"Honey, where have you been for the last five minutes?" Sneered Miss Scarlet.

"Your assumption is Correct, Colonel. May if just say that you drive a very expensive car for someone who lives on a Colonel's pay."

"I don't. I came into money during the war when I lost my mommy and daddy."

"Oh how awful," Began Miss Brown sympathetically, "how dreadful to lose your parents so young."

The colonel gave her a pathetic smile and turned back to the envelope, in which Miss Scarlet was looking. Eventually she found something that was of interest to her, and brandished it with a wave of her hand.

"Well I don't see anything wrong in Colonel Mustard visiting a house full of women in his spare time...I mean, most soldiers do, don't they?"

"How did I guess?" Sighed Miss Brown.

"You make a habit of guessing, Miss Brown, which could lead you into trouble," Warned Wadsworth darkly.

"So what's in the envelope?" Asked Professor Plum.

"Who does the diary belong to?" Miss Scarlet demanded, her eyes glittering.

"I'm afraid the articles in that diary are confidential." Wadsworth explained, attempting to take it from her.

"Confidential? What's so confidential about this?" Miss Scarlet opened it and began to peruse its contents. "Oh you have to listen to this:

_Today I met up with Lord Bingley who introduced me to James, it was love at first sight...James seems to really care about me; I believe he will propose soon...oh what have I done? Nicholas is threatening to tell James about our affair..." _She paused and closed the diary, "so, who does this belong to?"

Mrs White's eyes were wide but she looked repulsed, Mrs Peacock was disgusted.

"Thank you for sharing that with us, Miss Scarlet. I am sure whomever the owner of the diary is would appreciate what you have just done to them." He narrowed his eyes at Miss Brown, who became suddenly very interested in her purse.

"Mrs White, you've been paying our friend the blackmailer ever since your husband died in shall we say, 'mysterious circumstances'."

"Haaahhha!" Sneered Miss Scarlet, "I see! That's why he was lying on his back. In his coffin!"

Wadsworth stared at her.

"I didn't kill him!" Retorted Mrs White.

"Then why are you paying the blackmail?" Demanded the colonel curiously.

"I don't want a scandal, do I? We had had a very humiliating public confrontation. He was deranged, he was 'lunatic'. He didn't actually seem to like me very much, he had threatened to kill me in public."

"Why would he want to kill you in public?" Miss Brown asked. Wadsworth rolled his eyes.

"I think she means that he threatened in public to kill her."

Miss Scarlet laughed.

"And was that his final word on the matter?"

"Being killed is pretty final, wouldn't you say?"

"But if he was the one who died? Not you, Mrs White, NOT YOU?"

"What did he do for a living?"

"He was a scientist. Nuclear physics." Mrs White replied.

"Oh, what an exciting job!" Exclaimed Miss Brown, "My deepest condolences to you."

"But he was your second husband," Persisted Wadsworth, eager to continue, "your first husband also disappeared."

"That was his job," replied Mrs White coldly, "he was an illusionist."

"But he never reappeared."

"He wasn't a very good illusionist." She added quickly.

"That's awful. To simply vanish into thin air." Miss Brown sighed.

"Like a lot of men after they get married." Sneered Miss Scarlet. "So, Miss Dizzy. What's your little secret?"

"Well…I…I want to be an actress." Miss Brown explained.

"Oh yeah? What kind?" Asked Miss Scarlet eagerly.

"What do you mean, 'what kind'? A normal actress."

"Oh, shame on me. Honey, if you wanna be an actress, you need to get rid of that pure white image."

"What's wrong with me?"

"You need scandal, that's what."

"I don't think so, Miss Scarlet. Miss Brown is better off finding a job more suited to her." Wadsworth gabbled.

"Being an actress isn't suitable for someone with little brain?"

"Mr Boddy, you haven't said much." Announced Miss Brown hastily.

"Why should I?"

"Who is he, anyway?" Asked Mr Green.

"Oh, hadn't you guessed?" Asked Wadsworth lazily, "he's the one whose blackmailing you all."

At once the guests went into an uproar.

"You dare to blackmail me!" Screamed the Colonel, challenging Mr Boddy to a fight and holding up his fists.

"Please," Shrieked Miss Brown urgently, "violence doesn't solve anything."

But no one was listening. Wadsworth simply watched calmly as the guests centred on Boddy.

Miss Brown took off her shawl and black formal gloves and placed them on the arm of the sofa, staring in horror as Mrs White kicked Mr Boddy in the crotch.

"Wait! The Police are coming!" Wadsworth suddenly exclaimed, and the guests began to chatter. "Listen! Blackmail depends on secrecy. You've all admitted how he's been able to blackmail you. All you have to do is tell the police, he'll be convicted, and your troubles will be over."

Mr Boddy struggled to stand but managed to speak through his teeth.

"S'not so easy. You'll never tell the police." He sneered.

"Then I shall. I have evidence in my possession, and this conversation is being tape recorded." Snapped Wadsworth decisively. "Ladies and gentlemen, the police will be here in about forty-five minutes. Tell them the truth, and Mr. Boddy will be behind bars."

"There's nothing I'd like more." Murmured Miss Brown.

Mr Boddy turned to leave.

"Where are you going this time?" Snapped Wadsworth.

"I think I can help them make up their minds. Can I just get my little bag from the hall?" Asked Mr Boddy as Wadsworth blocked the doorway. Reluctantly, Wadsworth agreed. He was hoping that Miss Brown hadn't managed to tell the guests anything whilst he had been pursuing Mr Boddy, for it would have meant trouble.

Boddy promptly returned, carrying a mock crocodile briefcase. He laid it on the coffee table and unclicked the clasps.

"Who can guess what's in here, eh?"

"You're good at guessing games, so Wadsworth says, Miss Brown" Pointed out Miss Scarlet deviously. Miss Brown's eyes widened and she looked on the verge of tears, but restrained herself and smiled pleadingly at Wadsworth, who ignored her.

"The evidence against us, no doubt." Suggested Mrs White bitterly. Mr Boddy gave an evil chuckle, and began to hand out several stylishly designed boxes with purple ribbon tied in a bow.

"We didn't know we were meeting you tonight.

Did you know you were meeting us?" Miss Scarlet questioned, taking her own box.

"Oh, yes." Boddy replied.

"What were you told, precisely?" Asked Miss Brown.

"Merely that you were all meeting to discuss our little . . . financial arrangements. And if I did not appear, Wadsworth would be informing the police about it all. Naturally I could hardly resist putting in an appearance." He smiled at Miss Brown and handed her a small box.

He finished handing out the boxes and crossed to the door, elbowing the Colonel and Professor Plum out of the way as he went.

"Open 'em."

Miss Brown fingered her box, and glanced at Wadsworth who seemed very calm despite the fact that Mr Boddy had handed out strange packages.

Miss Scarlet seemed to be the only one genuinely excited. She tore away the ribbon and opened the box.

"Why not? I enjoy getting presents from strange men."

It was a candlestick.

"A candlestick? What's this for?"

Mrs. White opened her box and revealed a rope tied in a noose.

Mr Green had received a bent lead pipe, Mrs Peacock a dagger, Professor Plum a revolver, Mrs Peacock a dagger and Colonel Mustard a wrench. Miss Brown gingerly untied the ribbon and opened her box to discover a pretty crystal glass bottle with some strange white powder in the bottom.

"In your hands, you each have a lethal weapon." Explained Mr Boddy. "If you denounce me to the police, you will also be exposed and humiliated. I'll see to that in court." He paused and grinned evilly at Wadsworth who stood behind the sofa where Miss Brown sat.

"But . . . if one of you kills Wadsworth now . . . no one but the seven of us will ever know. He has the key to the front door, which he said would only be opened over his dead body. I suggest we take him up on that offer."

Miss Brown's eyes widened in shock and she looked up at Wadsworth who also looked fearful.

"The only way to avoid finding yourselves on the front pages is for one of you to kill Wadsworth. Now."

He switched off the light.

A gunshot.

Something had shattered and a piercing scream rang through the room.

Mrs Peacock quickly switched on the light and dropped her dagger in shock. Mr Boddy was lying on the floor, but no one made any attempt to move. Miss Brown who was standing clutched Wadsworth's arm although he didn't seem to notice.

As though annoyed by the others lack of response, Professor Plum knelt down beside the body and checked his pulse.

"He's dead!" He announced.


	4. Mr Boddy Dead Twice?

"What?" Asked Miss Scarlet.

"Who had the gun?" Demanded Mrs White.

"I did." Admitted Professor Plum.

"Then you shot him!" Snapped Mrs Peacock decisively.

"I didn't!"

"Well, you had the gun. If you didn't shoot him, who did?" Demanded Mrs Peacock.

Professor Plum rolled Mr Boddy over and checked him.

"Nobody! Look, there's no gunshot wound. Somebody tried to grab the gun from me in the dark and the gun went off. Look! The bullet broke that vase on the mantel!"

The guests rushed to the mantelpiece, but Miss Brown stayed behind.

"He's absolutely right. Look, there's a bullet hole here in the wall. See that?" He pointed at the hole.

"Well, one of us must have killed him!" Exclaimed Mrs White, throwing her hat away angrily.

"Well, I didn't do it." Mr Green murmured.

"I can believe that." Mumbled Miss Brown.

"Oh, I need a drink!" Announced Mrs Peacock going over to where Mr Boddy's glass sat.

"No! Wait!" Shrieked Miss Brown.

"What's the problem, Miss Brown?" Asked the Professor curiously.

"I...he might have been poisoned!"

It was too late, Mrs Peacock had already taken a sip and now she burst into hysterics, dropping the glass.

Mr Green led her over to the sofa and sat her down next to Miss Brown, offering words of comfort as she wouldn't stop screaming. Finally he slapped her, and Miss Brown stared at him.

"I . . . I had to stop her from screaming . . ."

"Was the brandy poisoned?" Asked Professor Plum.

"Ask Miss Brown, she seems to know everything," Hissed Miss Scarlet. The guests turned to Miss Brown.

"I...don't know..." She replied worriedly.

Miss Scarlet walked over and picked up the glass. The contents had spilled out on the carpet.

"Looks like we'll never know. How convenient."

"Unless . . . unless she dies, too." Suggested Mr Green and the guests clustered around Mrs Peacock, expecting her to develop some sign of being close to death.

Suddenly there came a scream from a nearby room.

All the guests, including Miss Brown, followed the Professor to the door of the billiard room. It was locked.

"Open up!" ordered Wadsworth.

"It must be the murderer." Suggested Professor Plum.

"Why would he scream?" Asked Mr Green.

"He must have a victim in there. Oh, my God! Yvette!" Realised Mrs White fearfully.

"Oh, no!" Squealed Miss Brown.

The door opened and the guests crowded in.

"You're alive!" Cried Wadsworth thankfully.

"No sanks to you!" The maid sobbed.

"What do you mean?" Continued Wadsworth.

"You lock me up with a murderer, you eediot!"

"Goodness, the murderer is in this room!" Miss Brown gave another high pitched squeal and the guests glared at her.

"Mai Oui!" Replied Yvette. "We are all looking at eem. Or 'er. It's what Mrs. White said in ze study--one of you is ze killer!"

"Honestly, you can't believe that, surely?" Sneered Colonel Mustard scornfully, "there is safety in numbers, my dear." He held up the wrench then seeing the fearful expression of Yvette's face, replaced it in his pocket.

"You must come to the study with us." Decided Miss Brown, holding out a hand.

Yvette graciously took it and followed the others out of the billiard room.

Wadsworth remained behind and took the tape off the spools.

"What are you planning to do with that, Wadsworth?" Asked Miss Brown, who had placed Yvette under the care of Mrs White.

Wadsworth marched to the door and closed it.

"What are you suggesting, Miss Brown?" He asked coolly.

"I know you're planning to humiliate those people out there. Why can't you leave them alone?"

"You know perfectly well why, Miss Brown. They will want to know everything." He took hold of her wrist and twisted it slightly.

"I won't allow you to do this, Wadsworth." Snapped Miss Brown, in a fiercer tone.

"Won't you?" He grasped her wrist even tighter and twisted it more, causing Miss Brown to let out a little cry of pain.

"You were saying, Miss Brown?" Asked Wadsworth cruelly.

Miss Brown shook her head. She could feel the pressure on her wrist closing to the point of agony.

"Good." Wadsworth let go and smiled. "Go back to the study. Tell everyone that I will be along in a minute."

Miss Brown left the room without comment , but instead of returning to the study, as Wadsworth had instructed, slipped into the ballroom, seizing the opportunity to escape through the huge window. She picked up an old vase and smashed a hole in the window as quietly as she could, but Wadsworth heard.

"Well, well, well...Miss Brown! Stop that at ONCE!"

Surprised, Miss Brown slipped from the window ledge and crumpled in a heap.

"Hmm...this is intriguing." Wadsworth roughly pulled her up.

"What did you think you were doing?!"

"Getting out of this God forsaken place while I still can!" She pulled away from him sharply, ripping her black glove.

"Honestly, you do let your imagination wander, don't you?" He took her wrist and squeezed.

"Don't do this to me, Wadsworth! It won't help!"

"Perhaps not. I think I had better take these." He indicated her black gloves. "Don't you worry, they'll be perfectly safe." Reluctantly, Miss Brown handed them over.

"Thank you. Return to the study, there's a good girl."

When Miss Brown eventually returned to the study she was greeted very coldly by her fellow guests.

"Been spending some more time with Wadsworth?" Miss Scarlet asked with a glint in her eye.

"He wanted to discuss something with me, that's all. He will be along in a minute."

She took her seat and got out her compact mirror, powdering her face and checking her teeth. Wadsworth suddenly re-entered.

"I must apologise for that, ladies and gentlemen. How are you feeling now, Yvette?"

"A little better sanks you."

"Splendid. Now..."

"Don't you understand!" Exclaimed Mr Green, "Mr Boddy is dead and we still don't know how he died."

Wadsworth seemed to break down. He fell into Mr Boddy's vacant chair to steady himself and began to tremble.

"This is terrible. This is absolutely terrible! It's not what I'd intended. Oh, my God...."

"Not what YOU intended?" Repeated Mrs White curiously.

"So you're not the butler?" Questioned Miss Scarlet.

"I'm not THE butler, but I am A butler. In fact, I was his butler." He indicated Mr Boddy, and Miss Brown shuddered as though someone had just spilt ice on her.

"Is Mr Boddy your husband's employer?" Asked Miss Scarlet in attempt to catch Miss Brown out.

"Oh yes. How did you know..." She replied. Wadsworth tapped her on the shoulder in amusement.

"Oh, very good, Miss Brown." He turned to the guests, "Miss Brown is referring to Mr Boddy's brother."

"Oh." Replied the guests, not totally convinced.

"I was Mr Boddy's butler, once..."

"So if he told you to invite us all to his house, why did he arrive late?" Persisted Professor Plum.

"I invited you. In fact, I wrote the letters. It was all my idea." The butler explained.

"Wait a minute. I-I don't understand. Why did you invite us here to meet your late employer? Were you assisting him to blackmail us?"

"Certainly not, Mrs White." Retorted Wadsworth, standing up.

"I think you'd better explain yourself."

"Please sit down. Everyone." Wadsworth commanded, but in a falsely calm and reassuring voice.

Mr Green found it difficult to find a seat, since Yvette had taken his, so he ended up leaning on a serving table where the tray of glasses sat.

"When I said that I was Mr. Boddy's butler, this was both true and misleading. I was once his butler, but it was not his untimely death this evening that brought my employment with him to an end." Explained Wadsworth.

"When did it come to an end?" Asked the Colonel.

"When my wife decided to . . . end her life. She too was being blackmailed by this odious man who now lies dead before us. He hated my wife for the same reason that he hated all of you. He believed that you were all thoroughly . . . un-American." Miss Brown's face contorted and she struggled not to shout out, gripping her purse tight.

The table in which Mr Green perched suddenly collapsed, taking its contents with it.

"Oh, how dreadful!" Miss Scarlet exclaimed, in an appalling imitation of Miss Brown's elegant English accent.

"So, Mr Boddy decided to blackmail my wife, and because we had no money, he made us work for him. We were his slaves."

"Oh my God." Sighed Mrs Peacock, "Couldn't you have told someone?"

"And risk him doing something even worse?" Scoffed Wadsworth, "we could do nothing."

"What do you have to say, Miss Brown?" Asked Mrs White, "isn't it awful?"

Miss Brown, who had been listening in fury to Wadsworth's pathetic tale wanted to slap him, but she knew that she couldn't.

"Oh, yes, it's awful." She replied, through gritted teeth.

"So that is my story, my wife committed suicide when she decided that we couldn't do anything to stop Mr Boddy and sacrificed herself." A tear ran down from his eye and Mrs White produced a handkerchief from her bodice, handing it to him in sympathy.

"The suicide of my wife preyed on my mind, and created a sense of injustice in me. I resolved to put Mr. Boddy behind bars. It seemed to be the best way to do it, and to free all of you from the same burden of blackmail was to get everyone face to face, confront Mr. Boddy with his crimes, and then...turn him over to the police."

"So, everything is explained." Remarked Professor Plum taking another puff of his pipe.

"Nothing's explained. We still don't know who killed him!" Exclaimed Miss Scarlet hotly.

"Well, the point is, we've got to find out in the next thirty-nine minutes. Before the police arrive!"

Mrs Peacock stood up hastily.

"My God, we can't have them come here now--"

"But . . . how can we possibly find out which of you did it?" Demanded Mr Green.

"What do you mean which of "you" did it?" Asked the Professor.

"Well, I didn't do it!" Exclaimed Mr Green.

"Well, one of us did. We all had the opportunity, we all had a motive." Remarked Wadsworth.

"All except Miss Brown here." Miss Scarlet pointed at her, "We still don't know what her secret is."

"Well, I..." Explained Miss Brown, "my husband worked for my father when he was younger. He got involved in embezzlement from my father's company. I am being blackmailed because…"

"Mr Boddy found out about your bribes to his employees to keep quiet about it. Am I right?" Asked Wadsworth, knowingly.

"Yes, absolutely."

"Oh how thrilling," Mocked Miss Scarlet. "We'll all go to the chair."

"Maybe it wasn't one of us." Suggested Professor Plum.

"Well, who else could it have been?" Asked Colonel Mustard.

"Who else is in the house?" Continued the Professor. Wadsworth stared straight past Miss Brown at Yvette.

"Only the cook. THE COOK!"

Wadsworth raced out of the room the guests following.

They ran to the kitchen, Mr Green at the lead. The freezer door opened as he approached it.

"Well. She's not here."

The door opened and the cook tumbled out, obviously dead, with a dagger plunged in her back. Miss Scarlet and Miss Brown both screamed at the sight of her.

Mr Green struggled to hold her and had to drop her.

"I didn't do it!!" He squealed. "Somebody help me, please? Will somebody help me, PLEASE?"

Several of the guests went to help him, except Mrs White, Miss Brown and Professor Plum. Yvette was nowhere to be seen and Wadsworth merely lingered in the background.

One of the guests reached for the knife.

"Don't touch it. That's evidence." Colonel Mustard warned.

"Not for us. We have to find out who did this. We can't take fingerprints." Agreed Mrs White, coming over to inspect the body.

"I think you'd better explain yourself, Wadsworth." Commanded the colonel.

Wadsworth tidied his coat and leaned his hand on the banister looking slightly puzzled and offended.

"Me? Why me?" He demanded.

"That isn't important now." Interrupted Miss Brown, coming to Wadsworth's aid. "We have to do something about the cook."

"Dinner wasn't that bad." Muttered Miss Scarlet.

"How dare you make jokes like that at a time such as this?" Snapped Miss Brown, "she is dead."

"I'm afraid, Miss Brown, that she has reaped the fruits of her evil and has received her just desserts." Wadsworth admitted gravely in a voice that chilled Miss Brown's heart.

"What an incredibly distasteful thing to say!" Miss Brown snapped, appalled at his lack of sensitivity.

"Be quiet, Miss Brown," Retorted Wadsworth, coldly, "I did not ask for your opinion."

"Oh, you noticed that too," Replied Miss Scarlet sarcastically, "making jokes is_ my_ defence mechanism."

"Some defence!" the colonel quipped, "If I was the killer I would kill you next."

Miss Brown stepped away from the colonel, frightened by his outburst.

"I said if...IF!" He loosened his tie. "Hey come on now, there is only one admitted killer in this room and it certainly isn't me, it's her!" He turned on Mrs White who began to back up against the table.

"I admitted nothing." She gabbled.

"How many husbands have you had, then?" Demanded the Colonel.

"Five…yes…just the five. Husbands should be like Kleenex. Soft, strong and disposable."

"Oh my goodness…" Began Miss Brown, and Mrs White frowned.

"Why are you here, Miss Brown?"

"To keep…my husband happy…of course…I hope I didn't offend you, Mrs White. It was just a shock, that's all."

"Hmm." Began Wadsworth tapping his fingers on the banister impatiently, "I suggest we take the Cook's body into the study."

"Why?" Asked Colonel Mustard.

"I'm the butler. I like to keep the kitchen tidy." Replied Wadsworth, taking hold of the cook's arms and assisting Mr Green in lifting her.

They took the body back to the study, only to discover that the body of Mr Boddy had vanished.

"Look!" Cried the colonel.

"There's nobody there!" Agreed Mr Green.

"What do you mean?" Asked Mrs Peacock, whose view was obscured by the men.

"Nobody. No Boddy, that's what we mean. Mr. Boddy's body. It's gone."

"Gone?" Repeated the women.

"Yes!"

"Mr Boddy's body has gone?" Gabbled Miss Brown, looking close to tears again.

"YES!" Groaned the others.

"We should have made sure." Commented Mrs White.

"How? By cutting his head off I suppose," Sneered Mrs Peacock.

"That wasn't called for." Retorted Mrs White crossly.

"We'd better look for him." Suggested Wadsworth and the guests dispersed checking the room.

"He couldn't have been dead!" Exclaimed Mr Green.

"Maybe there is life after death," Remarked Miss Scarlet as they searched the room, carefully stepping over the cook's body.

"Ridiculous." Hissed Miss Brown, who was checking inside the drawers.

"Honey, he's unlikely to be in there." Scoffed Miss Scarlet.

"Maybe Mr. Boddy killed the cook!" Mr Green suggested excitedly, thinking had he'd solved the puzzle.

"Yes!" Agreed Miss Scarlet and Mrs White.

But Wadsworth had other ideas.

"How?" he asked.

"When he switched the light off!" explained Miss Brown, "he could have run...perhaps not." She trailed off, seeing the dark look on Wadsworth's face.

Mrs Peacock left the room to 'powder her nose' leaving the other guests to discuss the events so far. Miss Scarlet discovered some negatives from the envelope of evidence and was looking at them with great interest.

"Very pretty," she commented, "would you like to see these, Yvette? They might shock you?"

"No merci, I am a lady." The french maid replied curtly.

"Oh, ok, how do you know what kind of pictures they are if you're such a 'lay-dee'?"

"They are my pictures and I'd like them back!" Snapped the colonel, attempting to snatch the negatives from Miss Scarlet.

"No, I'm afraid there's something in these that concerns me too."

"Please return the photographs to the desk, please, Miss Scarlet." Wadsworth ordered calmly, but she ignored him.

"What about you, Miss Brown? On second thoughts, you'll probably keel over...hold on! This is you, isn't it, Miss Brown?" She held them up to the light. The Professor leaned over Miss Scarlet's shoulder to see them.

"Oh my God. She's right. It's Miss Brown!"

"I'm afraid you must be mistaken, sir. Miss Brown is from England. She has a husband." Wadsworth interrupted.

"You wouldn't think so, lookin' at these…hey, Miss Brown!" Miss Scarlet called to the young girl, who was searching through the bookcase. "This is you, isn't it?"

Miss Brown's face drained, then hardened.

"As Wadsworth says, you must be mistaken, Miss Scarlet."

Miss Scarlet sniffed crossly, and Wadsworth took the negatives from her just as there came a familiar scream from the hall. It was Mrs Peacock!

Wadsworth snatched the photographs and tossed them onto the desk. The guests rushed into the hall to see Mr Boddy draped over Mrs Peacock. It looked like he was attacking her, so Mr Green and the Professor pulled him away, letting him fall to the floor. He was certainly dead now, his head was covered in blood and his eyes were glassy.

"Mr Boddy. Dead. Again?" Queried Wadsworth, looking around at the others and kneeling down beside the corpse.

"He's dead!" Sobbed Miss Brown.

"Oh do shut up!" Snapped Miss Scarlet, but Miss Brown carried on.

"Oh...My...God." Rasped Mrs Peacock, fanning herself.

"She's going to faint!" Announced Wadsworth, rushing to help her. As he held his arms out to catch her she slipped straight through.

"Sorry." He apologised.

Suddenly Mrs White noticed the blood on Mr Green's hands and reprimanded him about it.

Mr Green appeared to panic, he pulled out a tissue from his pocket and quickly rubbed his hands on it.

"I didn't do it!"

Meanwhile Wadsworth was inspecting Mr Boddy's corpse. Mrs Peacock still lay nearby.

He picked up Mr. Boddy's arm and let it fall again.

"Well, he's certainly dead now. Why would anyone want to kill him twice?" He asked everyone.

"It seems so unnecessary." Muttered Miss Scarlet.

"It's not necessary at all!" Sobbed Miss Brown, dabbing at her eyes. The others were becoming increasingly annoyed with Miss Brown and her alarming way of bursting into tears whenever she felt it was necessary.

"It's what we call "overkill." Announced Colonel Mustard, ignoring the weeping girl.

"It's what we call "psychotic." Explained Professor Plum.

"Unless he wasn't dead before." Mr Green finished wiping his hands and stuffed the tissue back in his pocket.

"What's the difference?" Asked the Professor curiously.

Wadsworth's tone suddenly became louder.

"That's what we're trying to find out! We're trying to find out who killed him, and where, and with what!" He stood in the doorway looking agitated.

"There's no need to shout!" Scolded the Professor.

"I'm not shouting!! All right, I am. I'm shouting, I'm shouting, I'm shout--"

The candlestick which no one had noticed before fell off the top of the door frame and hit Wadsworth's head. He instantly fell to the floor, knocked unconscious.

"Is he dead?" Asked Miss Brown worriedly, choking out a last cry.

"Of course not," Replied Mr Green gently, "he's just unconscious, that's all. Someone get some ice?" He suggested to Miss Scarlet.

"Hey, this isn't my house. I ain't gonna go poking around anywhere. He wakes up and finds I'm missing...OK. I'll go." She left and the men carried both bodies back to the study.


	5. More Confusion

When they reached the study, the men put Mr Boddy's corpse on the sofa along with the cook's who was tipped forward over the arm.

Professor Plum sat in between them looking interested instead of appalled. Colonel Mustard was frightened by the fact that Boddy's eyes were staring at him so he closed them. Wadsworth was simply laid on the floor, waiting to regain consciousness. As instructed Miss Scarlet returned with some ice, but no one seemed to be interested in helping Wadsworth, the colonel was pacing the floor agitatedly.

"Now, who had access to the candlestick?"

"It was given to Miss Scarlet," Explained Miss Brown, dabbing Wadsworth's head with the ice.

Miss Scarlet glared at Miss Brown.

"When are you going to learn to keep your mouth shut." She demanded, "but, yeah, he gave it to me. I dropped it on the table. Anyone could have picked it up. You . . . him..."

Wadsworth suddenly stood up, looking a little dazed but stable. He took the ice from Miss Brown and held it against his head.

"Could someone please explain?"

"I will," Miss Brown volunteered, "whilst you have been unconscious we have been discussing who might have killed Mr Boddy with the candlestick. I told them it was given to Miss Scarlet..."

"Thank you, Miss Brown." He began to walk around the room, picking up the weapons.

"Look. We still have all these weapons. The gun, the rope, the wrench, the lead pipe. Let's put them all in this cupboard and lock it. There's a homicidal maniac about!"

Miss Brown gave another squeal.

"Can you stop doing that!" Snapped Mr Green, "it's making me nervous."

"It's making me nauseous." Agreed Miss Scarlet.

Wadsworth unlocked a large cupboard and placed all the weapons in it, without checking to see whether they were all there. Then he locked the cupboard and slipped the key into his tailcoat pocket.

"What are you doing with the key?" Asked Mr Green, drawing the attention to him.

"Putting it in my pocket." Answered Wadsworth promptly, tidying his coat.

"Why?" Continued Mr Green suspiciously.

"Well, to keep it safe, obviously." The butler replied.

"But surely that's not right!" Exclaimed Miss Brown, "That means that you can open it, whenever you want." She added worriedly, clutching her purse.

"But it also means that you can't." Explained Wadsworth, his dark eyes piercing hers.

"But what if you're the murderer?" Asked Mrs Peacock nervously.

"I'm not." Wadsworth answered simply.

"But what if you are?!" Snapped the colonel.

"Well, it's got to be put somewhere. If I've got it, I know I'm safe." Wadsworth patted his pocket reassuringly.

"We don't know that WE are!" Mrs Peacock shrieked, batting her hair ornament which was covered in feathers away irritatingly.

"I've an idea." Wadsworth announced, clapping his hands together, "We'll throw it away!"

"Wonderful!" Cried Miss Brown, following Wadsworth and the other guests out of the study.

Wadsworth hastily unlocked the door and poised his hand ready to throw the key when he came face to face with a young man who was completely drenched.

"Oh, sorry. Sorry, can we help?" Asked Wadsworth.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disturb the whole household, but my car broke down out here and I was wondering if I could use your phone."

Miss Brown hadn't been able to see the visitor, but as she stood on her tiptoes and caught a glimpse, her eyes lit up.

"What are you doing here?" She asked delightedly, as the others crowded around deciding whether to let him in or not.

The young man also saw her and smiled, but his smile soon faded as Wadsworth glared at him.

"I'm sorry, I don't recognise you."

Miss Brown stared at him, puzzled, but as the man shifted his eyes to Wadsworth and back again, Miss Brown attempted to cover the situation.

"I thought you were someone I know." She explained to the others, who were looking at her questionably.

"Never mind." Wadsworth turned around and gave the guests a very false grin and held open the door.

"Very well, sir. Would you care to come in?"

"So where is it?"

"The body?"

"The phone! What body?"

"Well, there's no body…there's nobody in the study…"

"There is!" Interrupted Miss Brown.

"No there isn't!" Wadsworth snapped coldly.

"There is!" She retorted, equally as firm.

The stranger looked worried.

"What does she mean?" He asked.

"Nothing, don't worry about her."

"Oh…but…"

"Honestly, there's nothing to worry about. There's nobody else here."

"NO!" Agreed the guests.

"But I think there's a phone in the lounge."

The guests quickly dispersed and Wadsworth led the stranger into the lounge, harshly shoving Miss Brown out of the way.

"Well, I say…"

"You won't say another word." Wadsworth hissed quietly and Miss Brown gave another squeal, watching as the stranger whom she'd recognised followed the butler obediently across the hall. She felt so sure that she'd known him, it was so strange, and yet he'd dismissed her.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disturb the whole household, but my car broke down just along the road and I was wondering if I could use your phone."

Miss Brown hadn't been able to see the visitor, but as she stood on her tiptoes and caught a glimpse, her eyes lit up.

"What are you doing here?" She asked delightedly.

The young man also saw her and smiled, but his smile soon faded as Wadsworth glared at him.

"I'm sorry, I don't recognise you."

Miss Brown stared at him, puzzled, but as the man shifted his eyes to Wadsworth and back again, Miss Brown attempted to cover the situation.

"I thought you were someone I know." She explained to the others, who were looking at her questionably.

"Never mind." Wadsworth turned around and gave the guests a very false grin and held open the door.

"Very well, sir. Would you care to come in?"

The guests quickly dispersed and Wadsworth led the stranger into the lounge. Miss Brown paused to watch as the stranger whom she'd recognised followed the butler obediently across the hall. She felt so sure that she'd known him, it was so strange, and yet he'd dismissed her.

"When you've finished your call, perhaps you'd be good enough to wait here." Commanded Wadsworth in a slightly darker voice.

"Certainly." The stranger replied, looking slightly nervous as the door was locked on him. The other guests were gathered in the entrance hall, waiting for the next move. Colonel Mustard walked up behind Wadsworth and tapped him hard on the shoulder, causing him to yell out in fright.

"Where's the key?" the colonel demanded.

"In my pocket," Wadsworth told him, trying to regain his breath.

"Not that key! The key to the cupboard-with the weapons!" The professor snapped impatiently.

"Do you still wish me to throw it away?" Asked Wadsworth.

"YES!" Replied the guests. So he opened the door and threw away the key in his pocket. As he turned around he saw that Miss Brown was standing right behind him and, seizing her arm tightly pushed her harshly back into the house. He hoped they would be satisfied now that he had thrown the key away.

"Well, what now?" he asked, releasing Miss Brown's arm and gently pushing her aside. She massaged her arm where his grip had been too tight.

Mrs White appeared to be suffering from some kind of anxiety attack.

"Wadsworth let me out," She gasped, holding out her hand.

"No,"

"Why not?"

"We've got to know who did it. We're all in this together now."

"If you leave, I'll say that you killed both Mr Boddy and the cook." Warned Mrs Peacock.

"Oh, Wadsworth, I'll make you sorry you ever started this. One day, when we're alone together . . ." Mrs White warned him flirtatiously pulling at his tie. Wadsworth's expression reflected one of absolute disgust and Miss Brown's eyes were wide, but was it with anger, or surprise?

"Mrs. White, no man in his right mind would be alone together with you." Wadsworth retorted, and Mrs White let go, rather reluctantly. He quickly stole a glance at Miss Brown, whose lips were pursed and she turned away at a glimpse of his face.

"Well, I could use a drink." Exclaimed the Colonel suddenly, and the guests agreed. Wadsworth suggested that they use the cognac in the library, so they did so.

The colonel found some glasses and began to pour the drinks, throwing the liquid carelessly around so that the tray in which they sat was sprayed as well, which Wadsworth was not at all happy about.

"What are we going to do about the motorist?" Asked Mrs White, "we can't let him stay here."

"Well what do you suggest?" Asked Wadsworth crisply.

"I...don't know." She replied.

"All right, look. Pay attention, everybody." Interrupted the colonel in a military tone.

"Wadsworth, am I right in thinking there is nobody else in this house?" He asked.

Wadsworth looked slightly nervous.

"Mmm, no."

"Then there IS someone else in this house?"

"No, sorry. I said "no," meaning "yes."

"'No,' meaning 'yes'"? Look, I want a straight answer. Is there someone else or isn't there, yes or no? "Um, no."

Colonel Mustard was becoming very irritated at this point. The other guests were staring at the two people in amusement.

"No," there IS, or "no," there ISN'T?"

"Yes."

It was all too much for Mrs White who broke her glass against the fireplace.

"Please!!" She cried in exasperation.

"Don't you think we should get that man out of the house before he finds out what's been going on here?" She tossed the remains of her glass into the air. It shattered on the hearth.

"Yeah!" Miss Scarlet agreed.

"How can we throw him outside in this weather?" Asked Miss Brown, "he'll catch an awful cold, which could develop into pneumonia, if you want that on your conscience."

"If we let him stay in the house, he may get suspicious." Miss Scarlet warned Miss Brown haughtily.

"If we throw him out, he may get even more suspicious." Retorted Professor Plum.

"If I were him, I'd be suspicious already." Murmured the colonel.

Mrs Peacock had reached her wit's end.

"Oh, who cares?! That guy doesn't matter! Let him stay, locked up for another half an hour! The police will be here by then, and there are two dead bodies in the study!!"

"Shhhh!" Hissed the others.

"Well, there is still some confusion as to whether or not there's anybody else in this house." Said the colonel.

"I told you, there isn't." Wadsworth replied calmly without the merest trace of confusion.

"There isn't any confusion? Or there isn't anybody else?"

"Either. Or both."

"Just give me a clear answer!"

"Certainly!" Wadsworth paused to clear his throat. "What was the question?"

"Is there anybody else in the house?!" Demanded the colonel, furiously.

"No!!" The guests yelled.

"That's what he says, but does he know? I suggest we handle this in proper military fashion. We split up, and search the house."

Miss Brown looked terrified.

"Oh no. I can't!"

"You can and you will!" Ordered the colonel.

Mrs Peacock seemed to be thinking the same:

"No, we can't split up!" She agreed.

"We have to. This is war, Peacock, you cannot make an omelette without breaking a few eggs. Every cook will tell you that! And you, Miss Brown, this is a military operation, casualties are inevitable."

"But look what happened to the cook!" Miss Brown choked.

"She's right." Put in Mrs Peacock. "It's dangerous."

"We're all taking risks, Mrs Peacock." Added Wadsworth promptly. "We must search the house thoroughly."

"No, I can't. Please don't make me." Miss Brown pleaded.

"Do as the colonel says, Miss Brown." Commanded Wadsworth coldly.

"Yes. We have very little time left, so we'll split up into pairs." Announced the Colonel.

"Pairs?" Repeated Miss Brown, "oh that's fine. I don't mind being with someone."

"Wait a minute. Suppose that one of us IS the murderer? If we split up into pairs, whichever one is left with the killer might get killed!" Exclaimed Professor Plum, who had been considering the possibilities.

"Then we would have discovered who the murderer is." Explained the colonel.

"Oh, but wait," Began Miss Brown, "I don't like the dark. Will someone make a three if we have to split up?"

"I will goz zith you." Offered Yvette kindly.

"Oh thank you!" Shrieked Miss Brown, clapping her hands like a little girl. Miss Scarlet raised her eyebrows and sniffed.

"I suggest that we all draw lots for pairs." Suggested Wadsworth taking a bunch of matches from a holder by the fireplace. "to the kitchen, please."

A little annoyed at having to move again, the guests filed to the kitchen, Mr Green looking sheepishly around to check that nothing was going to fall out of the cupboards.

The guests crowded around a small preparation table and waited for Wadsworth to cut the matches up. He found a knife and quickly set to the task, taking a glance up every now and again to check that Miss Brown was still with the group.

"The two shortest together and the next two shortest together, and I suggest that the two shortest search the cellar and so on up." He instructed. "Miss Brown, you will go with me."

"Ha!" Scoffed Miss Scarlet, "I thought you might want to do that, Wadsworth."

"Oh no, please." Miss Brown shrank back, "I'd rather go with Mr Green, or even Mrs White."

Wadsworth narrowed his eyes at her, making her feel extremely small.

"I expected you might. Very well, then, Green. You and Yvette shall accompany Miss Brown. The rest of you draw a match."

The guests quickly took matches from the bunch and 'matched' them up. Miss Scarlet was with the Colonel, something that she looked disgusted about, Mrs White with Wadsworth and Professor Plum and Mrs Peacock.

"If you would care to follow me." Wadsworth took them into the main hall and sent them on their separate ways.


	6. Three Murders

Miss Brown and Yvette followed Mr Green up the stairs. Once they reached the top, Wadsworth and Mrs White walked around the first floor whilst Mr Green timidly led the way to the attic, as Wadsworth had instructed them to.

"Do you want to go up in front of me?" He asked the two women, who were both looking petrified.

"Absolutely no." Replied Yvette, firmly.

"No, thank you." Added Miss Brown.

"I'm sure there's no one up there." Persisted Mr Green.

"Zen you go een fron." Yvette suggested authoritatively and Miss Brown nodded in agreement.

"All right..." But Mr Green did not move.

"Go'n. I be right behind you." Yvette instructed impatiently.

"That's why I'm nervous." Mr Green explained and Miss Brown threw him a hard look.

"Zen we all go togezer." Yvette decided and they began to climb the stairs.

When they reached the top, Miss Brown explored the area, it was quite obviously an attic, with many boxes and old furniture stacked precariously.

Suddenly they heard a scream from downstairs. It sounded like Miss Scarlet! What had happened?

Within seconds they had reached the landing and collided with Wadsworth and Mrs White.

Yvette quickly got up and assisted Miss Brown to her feet. They raced downstairs where Professor Plum and Mrs Peacock were waiting.

"Where are they?" Demanded Mrs White.

"The lounge!" Replied Wadsworth urgently, rushing to the door and pulling at the handle.

"The door's locked!" Exclaimed the Professor.

"I know..." Snapped Mr Green impatiently.

"Then unlock it!" the professor ordered frantically.

"Where's the key?" Asked Mr Green.

Wadsworth frantically searched his pockets.

"The key is gone!!"

"Never mind about the key! Unlock the door!" Continued the Professor angrily.

Mr. Green grabbed Professor Plum and began to shake him.

"I can't unlock the door without the key!" He screamed, letting go of the professor and banging his fist on the door.

"Let us in! Let us in!"

And from inside there came an instant reply.

"LET US OUT! LET US OUT!"

Wadsworth clapped his hands together and backed up all the way to the study door.

"It's no good. Stand back."

"Wadsworth, what are you doing?" Questioned Miss Brown, knowing all too well that Wadsworth wasn't strong enough to break the door down.

"There's no alternative. I'm just going to have to break it down!"

Miss Brown shook her head.

He ran at the door and smashed against it, but repelled, falling on the floor clutching his shoulder.

"I did try to warn you." Sighed Miss Brown pompously.

"Yes...Thank you, Miss Brown." Gasped Wadsworth through the pain.

Yvette suddenly clicked her fingers.

"I know! I have eet!"

She raced into the study and quickly returned holding a small pistol, which shot a bullet out as she tripped over Wadsworth who was still sprawled on the floor. It hit the chandelier and Miss Brown screamed.

Without a second thought, Yvette shot twice at the door with perfect accuracy.

"Come out! The door eez open!" She announced, and a miraculously unharmed Colonel Mustard and Miss Scarlet stepped out.

"Why are you shooting that thing at us?" Demanded the colonel crossly, giving her a shove.

"To get yoo out." Replied Yvette.

"You know you could have killed us...I could have been killed! I can't take any more scares!"

The chandelier fell from the ceiling and smashed behind him. He clutched at his chest and fell down on a bench. Miss Brown screamed again.

"LOOK!" Shrieked Miss Scarlet hysterically, pointing at the corpse of the young man on the carpet of the lounge.

Miss Brown fanned herself to calm her nerves and made her way to the lounge, where the others were standing.

"OH MY GOODNESS! NO!" She cried, clutching at her pale face, "NOT..." She squeezed her purse tighter.

"Not who?" Asked Mrs White curiously.

"Not..." she began to sob.

"I know," Began Wadsworth, laying a hand on her shoulder, "it's dreadful, isn't it. Who would do such a thing?"

"We found him! Together!" Explained Miss Scarlet.

"How did you get in?" Mrs White asked.

"There's a secret passageway from the conservatory." Miss Scarlet continued, sniffing at Miss Brown who was being comforted by Wadsworth.

"Is that the same gun?" Asked Professor Plum, eyeing the revolver.

"From the cupboard?" Mrs Peacock assisted, seeing Yvette's puzzled face.

"But it was locked!" the professor snapped.

"No, eet was oonlocked!" Insisted Yvette crossly.

"Unlocked?" Repeated Mr Green, Professor Plum and Wadsworth.

"But, yes. See for yourself!"

Taking Miss Brown's hand Wadsworth and the guests hurried to the study where they found the cupboard door wide open.

"How did you know it was unlocked?

How did you know that you could get at the gun?" Mrs Peacock demanded fiercely.

"I didn't." the maid replied. "I sink--I would bray kit open bud it was open alreddy."

"A likely story."

"That doesn't matter," Choked Miss Brown, "he's dead! One of you killed him!"

"I must apologise ladies and gentlemen, Miss Brown is of a very nervous disposition." Wadsworth explained, squeezing her hand tight. The guests smiled faintly.

The doorbell suddenly clanged and the group froze.

"Maybe they'll just go away." Suggested Miss Scarlet hopefully.

It clanged again, this time more urgently. Mr Green moved towards the door.

"I'm going to open it." He announced confidently.

"Why?!" Demanded Miss Scarlet.

"I have nothing to hide! I didn't do it!" he held out his hand to Wadsworth. "The key."

Reluctantly Wadsworth slammed the key on Mr Green's palm. "Thank you."

He strode into the hall, followed by the rest of the party.

He opened the door revealing a police officer.

"Good evening sir." He gave a salute.

"Yes?" Asked Mr Green.

"I found an abandoned car down near the gates of this house. Did the driver come in here for any help, by any chance?"

Everyone but Mr. Green insisted that that was not the case.

"Well, actually, yes."

"NO!" Snapped the others.

"There seems to be some kind of disagreement." The police officer pointed out.

Everyone but Mr. Green again disagrees.

"Yes."

"Uh, can I come in and use your phone?" The cop persisted.

Wadsworth stepped in front of Mr Green before he could disagree.

"Of course you may, sir. You may use the one in the, um, no . . . Uh, you could use the one in the st-- no...Would you be kind enough to wait in the um, in the, em, library?"

The cop now looked totally confused.

"Sure."

As he walked through the hall he noticed Yvette.

"Don't I know you from someplace?"

The maid shrugged.

He also noticed the tension in the atmosphere.

"You all seem to be very anxious about something."

"Well," Began Miss Brown, but Wadsworth shoved her away before she could say any more.

"It's the chandelier. It fell down. Almost killed us. Would you like to come this way, please, sir?"

Miss Scarlet closed the door to the study suddenly and attempted to look nonchalant.

The Cop whirled around at the sound.

Professor Plum did the same to the lounge door.

The Cop whirled again.

"Frightfully draughty, these old houses." Remarked Wadsworth leading the Cop in and indicating the phone. "Please help yourself to a drink, if you'd like."

The Cop reached for the cognac.

"Not the cognac. Just in case."

"Just in case of what?" But Wadsworth had already left and locked the door.

"What now?" he asked the others, who were gathered outside the door.

"We must do something! What if he finds out?" Exclaimed Miss Brown worriedly.

"He will if you don't shut up!" Hissed Miss Scarlet.

"We must tell him!" She cried, "what happens if he finds a way out of the library? Wadsworth, are there any other ways out?"

"I don't believe so, Miss Brown. I shouldn't worry. He is safely locked away, and as I said before, the windows are barred."

Miss Brown nodded.

"Anyway, let's clean this up." Suggested Wadsworth, indicating the smashed chandelier.

Within a few minutes, the phone rang.

"Maybe the cop answered it?" Realised Wadsworth anxiously.

They heard the cop come to the door and attempt to open it.

"Let me out of here! Let me out of here, you have no right to shut me in! I'll book you for false arrest, and wrongful imprisonment, and obstructing an officer in the course of his duty!

And murder!"

Wadsworth calmly opened the door with a big false smile.

"What do you mean, 'murder'?"

"He means killing someone." Explained Miss Brown, and Wadsworth rolled his eyes.

"What's going on around here? And why would you lock me in?

And why are you receiving phone calls from J. Edgar Hoover?"

" Hoover?" Repeated Wadsworth curiously.

"That's right. The head of the Federal Bureau of Investigation." Explained the Cop.

"Oh goodness." Murmured Miss Brown, fearfully.

"What do you know, Madam?" Asked the cop.

"Nothing, nothing."

"Miss Brown here suffers from a very nervous disposition." Wadsworth told the cop.

The other guests laughed in support.

The cop didn't seem too convinced but let it go.

Wadsworth slipped into the library and with a curt "excuse me" locked the door.

"What's going on here?" Asked the cop curiously.

Miss Scarlet draped herself on him.

"We're having a party." She grinned.

"Why is this girl crying?" He gestured at Miss Brown.

"Oh, she's always crying," replied Miss Scarlet, "it's part of what-do-you-call-it?" She looked around for someone to answer.

"her nervous disposition." Sighed Mrs Peacock in a bored voice.

"So Wadsworth says." Added Miss Scarlet.

"Mind if I look around?" Asked the cop.

"Sure...you can show him around Mr Green." Commanded Miss Scarlet.

"Me?" Asked Mr Green.

"Yeah...you can show him the dining room, the kitchen, the ballroom..."

Mr Green looked very uncomfortable, but led the cop away.

"Come with me officer. I'll show you the dining room, the kitchen, the ballroom?"

As soon as he was safely out of the way, Miss Scarlet beckoned the group into the study. She had a plan.

"You two on the curtain," she instructed to Mrs Peacock and the colonel, "put Mrs Ho's body between you."

"Mrs White, you on top of Mr Boddy."

"Oh that's disgusting." Grumbled Mrs Peacock.

"You got a better idea?" Miss Scarlet asked crossly. "I didn't think so. I'll go with you, Professor. We'll take the drink, pour it into the motorist guy's mouth and cosy up on the sofa."

"Sounds good to me!" Smiled the Professor.

"And me? What do I do?" Asked Miss Brown.

"You with Yvette. You're the lookouts. Miss Brown, since you're close to Wadsworth, go and find out how long he'll be?"

"I can't do that!" Stammered Miss Brown, "he'll kill me!"

The guests stared at her.

"Not like that..."

"Just go with Yvette, then!"

"Come zis me." Yvette told Miss Brown, and they sat outside the study talking, watching Miss Scarlet rush across the hall to the lounge and shut the door.

"Now, what's going on in those two rooms?" Asked the cop firmly.

"What rooms?" Asked Mr Green, trying to block his view.

"Those two rooms." He pointed at the two doors which had just slammed shut.

"Erm...Officer, I don't think you should go in there..." Warned Mr Green blocking the door to the study with his hand.

"Why not?"

"Because its...all too shocking!"

"It's true sir." Agreed Miss Brown, but with a tug by the cop Mr Green was thrown away from the door and the cop opened it.

The record player was playing 'Life Could Be a Dream' and the guests were all in their assigned positions. Mr Green gaped at them all.

"This is not all that shocking," The cop announced, "these folks are just having a good time."

And he left the room, walking over to the lounge.

Again he revealed Miss Scarlet and Professor Plum canoodling on the sofa whilst the motorist 'slept' in the chair opposite.

"Excuse me?" he exclaimed to the two 'lovers' who broke apart.

"This man's drunk, dead drunk." He told them after smelling the motorist's breath.

"Dead right." agreed Miss Scarlet innocently.

"You're not going to drive home, are you?" He asked the corpse.

"He won't be driving home officer, I can promise you that." Explained Professor Plum, shaking his finger at the corpse.

"Somebody'll give him a lift, huh?"

"Oh," Began Miss Scarlet, "we'll...we'll get him a car."

"A long black car." Added Professor Plum.

"A Limousine." Miss Scarlet giggled.

"Hmm. Thanks."

The cop closed the door and walked back toward the library, where Wadsworth had just left.

"Officer..." He stammered anxiously, with another false smile.

"You're too late, I've seen it all."

"I can explain..."

"You don't have to..."

"I don't?" Repeated Wadsworth, mystified. He looked around at Miss Brown, Yvette and Mr Green for a clue, but they stayed silent.

"Don't worry, there's nothing illegal about any of this!" the cop rhapsodised on.

"Are you sure?" Asked Wadsworth.

"Of course. This is America. It's a free country, don't you know that?"

"I didn't know it was that free." Replied Wadsworth seriously.

"May I use your phone now?"

"Certainly." Wadsworth unlocked the door and the cop went in. Wadsworth quietly locked it and turned around to the guests who were looking more ruffled than the last time.

"Why did you lock him in again?" Asked Mr Green.

"We haven't finished searching the house yet." Explained Wadsworth, leading Mrs White toward the stairs again.

"Monsieur." Yvette began, and Mr Green walked up the stairs, followed by Miss Brown.

They reached the attic again, only for the lights to suddenly fail.

Miss Brown, Mrs White and Mrs Peacock's screams merged into one. Quietly Yvette slipped away to fix the lights, but no one saw her.

She crept downstairs silently and walked into the billiard room.

"YOU!" She cried in a distinctly American accent.

A noose was thrown around her neck and she was throttled.

Next door, the cop was still talking on the phone.

"There's something funny going on around here..." He whispered, "I have a feeling I'm in danger. You know that big ugly house on top of..."

Someone smashed a lead pipe against his head and he fell to the floor.

Then the front door opened and a girl was standing there.

"I am your singing telegram." She sang, and a shot pierced the air. Like the cop she was killed instantly.

Wadsworth had been having difficulty getting out of the room upstairs and after discovering a handle to a door was actually a cold shower, he sloshed his way downstairs to restore the electricity.

The guests reassembled in the hall, Miss Brown being the last member to return to the group.

They saw the billiard room door open and Yvette sprawled across the snooker table, her hands on her throat and a noose wrapped tightly around her neck.

"Oh my goodness!" Cried Miss Brown, "why would anyone want to kill Yvette?"

The guests looked at each other.

"Oh dear." announced Wadsworth.

They quickly moved along to the library, where the cop lay against the table.

"Two murders." Exclaimed Mr Green.

"Neither of them shot." Noted Professor Plum, picking up the lead pipe.

"I thought I heard a shot!"

"I did." Agreed Miss Brown.

"The murderer must have run out!" Suggested the Colonel.

They opened the front door revealing the body of the singing telegram. Miss Brown stared at her.

"Oh don't start crying," Groaned Mrs Peacock, "we're in enough trouble as it is."

As though transfixed, Miss Brown stood very silent and still.

"Three murders," Announced Wadsworth worriedly.

"Six altogether." Explained Mr Green.

"This is getting quite serious."

They closed the door and Mrs White comforted Miss Brown, who refused to move until she was led away.


	7. Miss Brown's Lunacy

"No gun." Wadsworth noticed, "Yvette dropped it here." He pointed at the pile of shattered glass which had been cleared, and pulled his coat together. "Very well. I know who did it."

"You do?" Repeated the guests.

"Yes, and furthermore I'm going to tell you how it was all done. Follow me."

He led them all into the library.  
"In order to help you understand what happened,  
I shall need to take you through the events of the evening, step by step. At the start of the evening, Yvette was here, by herself, waiting to offer you all a glass of champagne. I was in the Hall." He paused and smiled. "I know, because I was there. Then, I hurried across to the kitchen."

He waved for the guests to follow him and they were taken into the kitchen.  
"And the cook was in here, alive, sharpening knives,  
preparing for dinner. And then . . ."  
He sprang up to the front door, the guests following closely.  
He proceeded to act out events.  
And the doorbell rang...and it was you!" He added to Colonel Mustard.  
"Yes..." replied the colonel breathlessly.

"I asked you for your coat, and I recognized you as Colonel Mustard  
and I prevented you from telling your real name because I didn't want  
any of you to use any name other than your pseudonym and I  
introduced myself to you as a butler and I ran across the Hall  
to the library!"  
At which point ran back to the library, the guests in tow.  
"And then Yvette met you . . . and smiled . . . (he smiled) . . . and poured you a drink."

The guests were by now quite irritated to keep following him so they paused in the hall as Wadsworth continued.  
"And the doorbell rang! And it was Mrs. White, looking pale and tragic,  
and I took her coat, and made off!"  
"And I introduced to Colonel Mustard.  
(imitating them) Hello. Hello. And I noticed that Mrs. White and Yvette . . . flinched!  
Then . . . there was a rumble of thunder, and a crash of lightning.  
And, to make a long story short--"  
"Too late." Replied the guests lazily

"--one by one, you all arrived, apart from Miss Brown, of course."  
He then raced into the hall and threw the mallet against the gong.

"Th gong was sounded by the cook and we went into the dining room."

The guests followed obediently and stood in the doorway of the dining room, watching as Wadsworth indicated their seating arrangements.  
"And Mrs. Peacock sat here, and Professor Plum sat here . . . (acts as if slurping soup) and Mrs. White sat here . . . (imitates them slurping soup) and Mr. Green, Miss Scarlet, Colonel Mustard..."

He paused and then tapped the chair at the end of the table facing the kitchen.

"Then the doorbell rang and Miss Brown arrived. She sat here and I introduced her to you as Miss Brown. Then a bell rang again and it was Mr Boddy. I introduced him to you and then proceeded to say that we'd all received a letter."  
(points at various chairs)  
And you'd had a letter, and you'd had a letter, and you'd had a letter--"  
"Get on with it!!" Snapped the agitated guests.  
"The point is...blackmail."

"All this came out afterwards in the study!" Interrupted Mr Green, gesturing at the study.

They raced back to the study.

"Mr. Green stood here, and Mrs. Peacock here, and Miss Scarlet  
here, and Professor Plum here, and Colonel Mustard, and  
Mrs. White, and--"  
"Get on with it!!!" the guests groaned.  
"I'm getting there, I'm getting there!! And Mr. Boddy went to get his surprise packages from the Hall. And you all opened your presents,"  
he shut the door "and Mr. Boddy switched out the lights!"  
Everyone screamed.  
The lights were flipped back on.  
Wadsworth was lying on the floor, and the guests,  
tired of all this stared at his body in disgust. Seeing their bored expressions, he got up.  
"Mr. Boddy lay on the floor, apparently dead."  
"He was dead! I examined him!" Cut in Professor Plum crossly.

"Then why was he bashed on the head a few minutes later with a candlestick if he was dead already?"  
"All right, I made a mistake!"  
"Right!" The butler agreed, "But if so, why was Mr. Boddy pretending to be dead? It could only be because he realized his scheme had misfired, and the gunshot was intended to kill him, not me. Look." He pointed at blood on one of Mr Boddy's ears.  
"The bullet grazed his ear. Clearly his best way of escaping death  
was to pretend to be dead already."

"So whoever grabbed the gun from me in the dark was trying to kill HIM!" Realised the Professor.  
Then Mrs. Peacock went to take a drink. Miss Brown shrieks "no, wait!" I ask her why she objects and she replies "it might be poisoned" It is too late. Mrs Peacock has already taken a sip. She screams!" He began to scream in a falsetto and took Mrs Peacock over to the chair who helpfully starts to scream. Mr Green," he imitates Mr Green's voice and slaps Mrs Peacock. Well . . . I had to stop her screaming!" . . .  
"Then--more screaming--Yvette--the billiard room!  
We all rushed out!"  
So they went to the billiard room. Wadsworth leaned against the table.

"But one of us . . . wasn't here." His voice became nasally accented.  
"No."  
The guests repeated the phrase in reply in the same voice.  
"No?"

"No. Maybe one of us was murdering the cook. Who wasn't here with us?"  
The guests paused, confused.  
"Do you know?" Asked Mr Green.  
"I do." He replied with certainty. "While we stood here, trying to stop Yvette from panicking . . ."  
He jumped off the table and hurried back to the study,  
". . . one of us could have stayed in the study,  
picked up the dagger. . . run down the Hall . . .. and stabbed the cook." He stabbed the letter opener into a frozen chicken as the guests arrive in the kitchen in front of the freezer.  
"How could he risk it?" Asked Mrs Peacock, "we might have seen him running back."  
"Not if they used this secret passage." Wadsworth replied, revealing the door in the back of the freezer.  
Mrs Peacock and Miss Brown gasped.  
"And the murderer ran back down the secret passage to the study."  
Again he raced out of the kitchen back to the study, where he stood in front of a portrait which had opened.

"What?" Asked Mr Green in disbelief.

"How did you know?" Demanded the colonel, equally mystified.  
"This house belongs to a friend of mine. I've known all along." he replied proudly.  
"So you could be the murderer." Mr Green pointed out.  
Wadsworth gave a chuckle.  
"Don't be ridiculous. If I was the murderer, why would I reveal to you how I did it?"  
"Because you wanted to make fools out of us?" Suggested Miss Brown crossly.

The light hearted amusement was gone from Wadsworth's eyes.

"I don't suppose there would be any need to." He snapped.  
"Well . . . who else knew about the secret passage?" Asked Mr Green.  
Miss Scarlet slapped the back of her hand against the colonel's chest.  
"We found it. Colonel Mustard and me." She explained.  
"You found it. You could have known about it all the time." Interjected the Colonel.  
"But I didn't!"  
"Well, why should we believe you?" Demanded Mrs Peacock.  
"Because she was with us all in the billiard room doorway while  
Yvette was screaming, don't you remember?"  
"What I don't understand is, why was the cook murdered?  
She had nothing to do with Mr. Boddy."

"Of course she did." Groaned Wadsworth. "I know, because I was Mr. Boddy's butler,  
that the cook had worked for one of you."  
The guests looked at each other, and Miss Brown snatched up her shawl. Wadsworth turned to Mrs White.  
"You recognized Yvette, didn't you?  
Don't deny it."  
"What do you mean, "don't deny it"? I'm not denying anything." She retorted.  
"Another denial!"  
She stuck her tongue out at Wadsworth.  
"All right, it's true. I knew Yvette. My husband had an affair with her, but I didn't care. I wasn't . . . jealous."

He then turned to Miss Scarlet.  
"You knew Yvette, too, didn't you?"  
Miss Scarlet made no attempt to object.  
"Yes. She worked for me."

The colonel was looking very nervous now, and Wadsworth noticed it.

"And you also knew her, sir. We've already established that you were one of Miss Scarlet's . . . clients. That's why you were so desperate to get your hands on those negatives. Photographs of you and Yvette in flagrante delicto, remember?"

Miss Brown gave a small gasp.  
"Mr. Boddy threatened to send those pictures to my dear old mother. The shock would have killed her!"  
"Ha. That would have been quite an achievement since you told  
us that she's dead already." She paused and looked at Miss Brown who was looking bewildered.

"Yes?" She asked her.

"So your parents aren't dead?" She asked. Wadsworth's eyes rolled and he sighed.

"No, they aren't." the colonel snapped bitterly.

"What a wicked lie to tell. Shameful." She muttered, "So, he had the motive." She suggested to Wadsworth, who nodded.

"You all had a motive."

"But where and when was Mr. Boddy killed?" Asked Colonel Mustard.  
"Don't you see?" He seized Mr Green. "Look, we came back to the study with Yvette.  
Mr. Boddy was on the floor..." he threw Mr Green on the floor, "pretending to be dead. But one of us noticed he's alive. So. I explained that I was Mr. Boddy's butler,  
and I'd invited you here, and we realized there was only one  
other person in the house."  
"THE COOK!" The guests yelled, and raced to the kitchen expecting Wadsworth to be there but there was no sign of him.

"Well, where is he?" Asked Mr Green.

The freezer door opened slowly, and Wadsworth tumbled out, looking dead with his eyes wide open and stiff as a board. Miss Scarlet and Miss Brown both screamed. Mr Green allowed Wadsworth's body to fall to the floor.

"Is he dead?" Asked Miss Brown curiously, leaning down to look at him, and Wadsworth jolted up. Miss Brown recoiled.

"By now, she was dead. We laid her down with our backs to the  
freezer. One of us slipped through the same secret passage--"  
"Again?" Asked Mrs Peacock.  
"Of course! Back to the study!" Wadsworth leading the way, they returned to the study. He pointed at the opened portrait.  
"The murderer was in the secret passage.  
Meanwhile, Mr. Boddy" He picked up Mr Green again and threw him on the floor, then picked him up again,  
"had been on the floor. He jumped up . . .the murderer came out of the secret panel, picked up the  
candlestick" He imitated holding a candlestick and chased Mr Green out into the hall, who was looking terrified.  
"Mr. Boddy followed us out of the study into the Hall, looking for  
an escape. The murderer crept up behind him and . . . killed him!!" he threw his fist down on the back of Mr Green's head. Mr Green got up and shook his glasses in Wadsworth's face.  
"Will you stop that!!"  
"No." Wadsworth replied simply, taking hold of him again and throwing him into the toilet. He leaned against the door pretending to check a watch.  
"And nonchalantly rejoined us beside the cook's body in the  
kitchen. It took less than half a minute."  
"But who was it?" Asked Miss Brown.  
"Whoever it was, is the murderer!" Explained Wadsworth.

"then we locked the weapons away in the cupboard I was persuaded to throw it away when...The motorist arrived. Miss Brown announced that she thought she recognised the stranger but he disagrees. He asked to use the phone, I lock him in the lounge. I put the key in my pocket and Colonel Mustard suggested that we split up and search the house."

"It was bad luck that the motorist arrived when he did." Admitted Miss Brown sadly.

"It wasn't luck, Miss Brown. I invited him." He smiled.

"You did!" She gasped.

"Of course. It's obvious. Everyone here tonight was either Mr. Boddy's  
victim or accomplice. Everyone who has died gave him vital information  
about one of you. I got them here so they'd give evidence against  
him and force him to confess.

"Oh, yeah? What about that motorist? What kind of information did he have?" Miss Brown opened her mouth to speak, but Colonel Mustard cut over her, almost sobbing.  
"He was my driver during the war." He sat down on a chair.  
"And what was he holding over you?" wadsworth asked, though he already knew.  
"He knew that I was a war profiteer. I stole essential Air Force radio parts, and I sold them  
on the black market. That is how I made all my money.  
But that does not make me a murderer!"

Miss Brown gasped.  
"Well, a lot of our airmen died because their radios didn't work!  
Was the policeman working for Mr. Boddy, too?" She asked grimly.  
Miss Scarlet crossed her arms.  
"The cop was from Washington. He was on my payroll. I bribed him once a week so I could carry on with business. Mr. Boddy found out somehow..." She narrowed her eyes at Wadsworth. Mrs Peacock appeared revolted.

"Oh my god." She groaned.

"Oh, please." Snapped Miss Scarlet.  
"And . . . the singing telegram girl?"

Professor Plum opened the front door slowly and gazed down at the girl.

"She was my patient once." he explained quietly. "I had an affair with her. That's how I lost my license. Mr Boddy found that out, too."

Miss Brown sniffed and wiped her eyes, walking away from the ugly scene.

"It's all too much. Wadsworth, I demand that you tell these people the truth!" She exclaimed firmly,turning on him and throwing him a glare.

"I am telling them the truth, Miss Brown," he replied shortly, "however I cannot help it if the truth is distressing to you."

Miss Brown could take it no more. She flew at Wadsworth her hands out as though she wanted to wring his neck. He caught her wrists just in time and Mr Green and Professor Plum attempted to restrain her.

"What was all that about, Wadsworth?" Asked Miss Scarlet.

"I must apologise for inviting Miss Brown tonight. I am afraid she has been very unwell for the past year and this has all come at completely the wrong time."

Miss Brown made an agitated squeal.

"If you promise not to attack me, you can be released, Miss Brown." He explained calmly, and turned on his heel .

"What does she mean by tell us the truth, Wadsworth?" Persisted Mrs Peacock suspiciously.

"Nothing at all. Do not worry. She will be fine. Just a little over excited, that's all." He reassured them.

Mr Green and the Professor were struggling to hold her. Eventually they let go and she seemed to melt to the floor, her dress skirt billowing out around her.  
"Well," Began Wadsworth turning back to the corpse of the singing telegram and clapping his hands together, "Let's put her in the study with the others."  
The men carried her to the study and dropped her unceremoniously on the floor.


	8. The Murderer is Revealed Version 1

"So. Now you all know why they died. Whoever killed Mr. Boddy also wanted his accomplices dead."  
"How did the murderer know about them all? I mean, I admit that I had guessed that this young singer informed on me to Mr. Boddy . . . but I didn't know anything about any of you until this evening." Asked the Professor curiously.  
"First, the murderer needed to get the weapons. Easy. He stole the key from my pocket. And then we all followed Colonel Mustard's suggestion that we split up and search the house."  
"That's right, it was Colonel Mustard's suggestion!" Exclaimed Mrs Peacock.

"But Wadsworth told him to say that!" Interrupted Miss Brown furiously.

"WHAT?!" Demanded the others.

"Now, please understand, ladies and gentlemen, I..."

"Wadsworth, I am beginning to really distrust you." Warned Mrs Peacock. "Colonel, did he, or did not ask you to suggest that?"

The colonel made no reply.

"So it's true!" Exclaimed Mr Green.

"No. As I said before, Miss Brown is very over excited. She will say things that she doesn't necessarily mean."

"Well, colonel, I'm waiting?" Continued Mrs Peacock.

Col. Mustard could not meet their eyes.  
"And one of us got away from his or her partner and hurried to the study. On the desk was the envelope from Mr. Boddy. It contained photographs and letters--the evidence of Mr. Boddy's network of informants."

"And a diary." Smiled Miss Scarlet smugly.

"a diary?" Repeated Miss Brown worriedly.

"That's right. Your diary, Miss Br..."

"That's quite enough of that." Snapped Wadsworth eager to continue.  
"Where is the envelope now?" Asked Mrs White.  
"Gone. Destroyed."  
He looked around the room before throwing the grate back and seizing the remnants of the tape made earlier. "Perhaps in the fire...The only possible place. Ah hah! Then, having found out the whole story, the murderer went to the cupboard, unlocked it with the key, took out the wrench-- "

"Then Then we found the secret passage from the conservatory to the lounge . . . where we found the motorist dead!" Miss Scarlet gabbled breathlessly.  
"That's right!" Replied Wadsworth, "And we couldn't get in. So Yvette ran to the open cupboard, and shot the door open. BANG! And then, the doorbell rang!"  
The doorbell clanged and everyone froze in terror.  
"Oh, whoever it is, they gotta go away, or they'll be killed! Ohhh!" Mrs Peacock squealed, opening the front door.  
An elderly man stood there, a pamphlet in his hand.  
"Good evening. Have you ever given any thought to the kingdom of heaven?"  
Mrs Peacock looked stunned.

"What?!"  
"Repent. The kingdom of heaven IS at hand." The man replied kindly.  
"You ain't just whistlin' Dixie." Sighed Miss Scarlet leaning against the wall.  
"Armageddon is almost upon us." The Evangelist told them.  
"I got news for you--it's already here!" Professor Plum warned him.  
Mrs. Peacock attempted to shut the door on him.  
"Go away!"  
"But your souls are in danger!" The man stammered.  
"Our lives are in danger, you beatnik!" And she slammed the door on him. Wadsworth looked from the door to Miss Brown, frowned, then continued as though nothing had happened.  
"The cop arrived next, we locked him in the library.  
We forgot the cupboard with the weapons was now unlocked,  
then we split up again, and the murderer switched off the electricity!" he raced to the cellar door and the fuse box and switched off the electricity as described.

**YOU NOW HAVE A CHOICE OF WHICH OF THE ENDINGS TO CHOOSE. THIS IS THE FIRST SO IF YOU WANT TO CHOOSE ANOTHER, CHOOSE NOW.**

The lights came on again, but Wadsworth was nowhere to be seen.

"Where's Wadsworth?" Asked Mrs White, and Miss Scarlet shrugged.

"Sorry about that, I didn't mean to frighten you all." Exclaimed Wadsworth from the top of the staircase.

"You're a bit late for that!" Squealed Mr Green.

"I don't believe you've met...my wife." He announced calmly.

"No!" Replied the guests, who watched as Wadsworth ran along the landing to one of the rooms, and brought out a woman almost unrecognisable as Miss Brown. Although the guests couldn't see it, Wadsworth was holding her very firmly and practically dragging her along.

The image of the perfect Miss Brown from the beginning of the evening was gone. Her hair was all tousled, her make-up streaked by tear stains, and a button missing from the top of her dress.

"Please, Wadsworth, no." She pleaded, but Wadsworth ignored her, holding her just enough to steady herself on the stairs.

"Come on!" He ordered coldly, "move yourself." Miss Brown attempted to pull away from him, but he only tightened his grip on her arm.

When they reached the bottom Wadsworth threw her down on the floor, and smartened up his uniform before speaking.

"Miss Brown is rather beautiful, is she not?" He asked the guests, who stared at him and then at Miss Brown in her traumatised state, puzzled.

"Yes," A couple of them murmured.

"She is isn't she?" He walked to her and held her face before slapping it hard. Then he stood up and tidied his uniform before saying:

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is my wife."

"Your wife?!" Repeated the guests.

"I thought you said she was dead." Added Mrs Peacock.

"She might as well be, after what she's done." Growled Wadsworth, looking down at the crumpled mess of his wife.

"What did she do?" Asked Scarlet eagerly.

"Before we come to all that, I must tell you..."

"You're not the butler." Suggested the Colonel.

"Correct, sir." Replied Wadsworth, "Mr Boddy was my butler."

"What does this have to do with your wife?" Persisted Professor Plum.

"I'm getting there, I'm getting there." Answered Wadsworth. "This woman," he indicated her, "who I call my wife...oh do stop snivelling," he added crossly, "played a part in all of your lives." He crossed to Mrs White.

"Mrs White, your second husband was killed shortly after you found out he was having an affair. Do you know who the lady was?" He asked pointedly.

"I assumed it was Yvette." Mrs White replied.

"We all assumed that." Sneered Wadsworth, "but your husband did not tell you when he was having an affair, you found out for yourself. The lady in question was not Yvette, but in fact, my wife."

Mrs White's face reflected her name at that moment. She could hardly believe it. Here was the woman who had destroyed her marriage!

"Oh, Wadsworth, please...no more!" Begged Miss Brown, grabbing at her husband's tailcoat.

Wadsworth gave her a slight kick and she backed away.

"Despite what you have done to me, that is in the past now. It cannot be changed."

"That's why you killed Yvette, then Mrs White? Because you believed that it was her, didn't you?"

Mrs White nodded.

"Miss Scarlet, your last secretary was fired because she discovered your secrets..."

"Oh, I know it was her," Miss Scarlet snapped, "the silly fool left her monogrammed diary on the desk."

"And you, Colonel, do you wish to know your connection to my wife?"

"Hang on just a second Wadsworth. I don't agree to my secrets being displayed in public."

"Your driver was my wife's brother, and you killed him thinking that he was the one who gave Mr Boddy information. It is, in fact, my wife who is responsible."

"And you killed him, Wadsworth!" Screamed Miss Brown, "my brother. Oh, Bertie, I'm so so sorry."

Wadsworth gave an evil chuckle and turned to Professor Plum.

"Your affair with a patient, you think that she told Mr Boddy."

"Yes."

"My wife and your patient were old school friends..."

"Wait a minute," Interrupted Mr Green, realising what the whole evening had been about, "you let us come here so that you could humiliate Miss Brown and watch as all the people she'd known were killed. He set her up!" He added to the other guests, who stood looking puzzled at Wadsworth.

"Why would you set her up?"

"To dispose of her network of spies and informers. She's the one who is doing the blackmail, not Mr Boddy."

"Let me explain," Spluttered Miss Brown, "Nicholas never told me he was intending to blackmail anyone. He knew I liked gossip and used it to humiliate you all. He loved me as James...Wadsworth has never done." She wiped her eye with a handkerchief, "he wants me to be a model housewife. I want someone I can talk to, but..."

"That's quite enough from you, I think." Snapped Wadsworth, walking back to his wife and forcing her arms back.

"So we've all been set up, have we?" demanded Miss Scarlet, crossly, "you sent for us because you knew we'd kill the people we thought had informed on us."

"Correct, although, I might as well admit, I killed Mr Boddy. Through Yvette. So easy to manipulate. I don't regret it." he murmured, "it's such a shame you had to witness this."

And from his pocket, he pulled out a gun. The guests stared at him, horrified. Miss Brown made to get up and hopefully flee, but Wadsworth forced her down.

"Why did you tell us she was dead?" asked the colonel.

"Because he hates me" replied Miss Brown, "Wadsworth...he wants complete control of me." replied Miss Brown.

"Why do you want control of her, Wadsworth?" Asked the colonel.

"I don't." He answered simply, "I like to make sure that my wife isn't cavorting with anyone else."

"Especially your employer." Miss Scarlet grinned. "I see now. She isn't as pure white as she seems"

"Correct, Miss Scarlet."

"That's not true and you know it, Wadsworth." Snapped Miss Brown, losing her temper, "you _do_ want to control me. You want perfection in your life-a perfect wife, a perfect job and now it seems a perfect murder."

Wadsworth looked slightly taken aback.

"I'm afraid you're mistaken, my dear. I only want what I deserve after the suffering Boddy put me through. You were once perfect, and then he stole you and corrupted you. I knew from the beginning that you could never truly love me, not the way you loved Boddy, anyway."

"Ha! So Snow White isn't as innocent as she seems. This just gets better and better." Grinned Miss Scarlet happily.

"Miss Scarlet, I must ask you to keep out of this. In fact, I would like all of you to leave."

The guests were too stunned to move.

"I said leave!" Ordered Wadsworth furiously.

"No, wait!" Protested Miss Brown, "he'll kill you all anyway. You must stay here until the police come."

"Be careful what you say, Cordelia." Snapped Wadsworth cruelly, "I could make life very difficult for you."

"You honestly believe that you haven't already done so?" Retorted Miss Brown, sadly, "I married you on the principle that you loved me. You did once."

"That was before you forgot your loyalty, and as I said before, it won't stop me from hurting you now Boddy has gone. Your life will be much harder."

"I can't believe you could be so horrible to me, your own wife!" She paused and when she spoke again, it was a nervous meek yet grim tone.

The gun shook in Wadsworth's grasp.

"How?" He asked.

"Nicholas gave me a bottle of poison earlier this evening when he handed out the weapons. He told me to slip it into your drink and once you were dead, we'd leave this place and seek a new life elsewhere. All would have gone according to plan, until you switched the glasses, and when Nicholas told one of us to kill you, he drank the poison, and faked death to escape you. He wouldn't die straight away, and you wanted him dead so you asked Yvette to kill him, I know now."

"That's all you'll ever know. Sweet dreams, dear wife." And he placed the gun on her back.

"Wait!" Cried Mr Green, "you aren't really thinking of killing her, are you?"

"Why not?" Demanded Wadsworth, with a crooked smile.

"Think what will happen when the police come. You'll be on a stretch for murder."

"So? Are you suggesting that I let this woman go, after all the heartache and pain she's put me through?"

"You don't have a heart, James." Muttered Miss Brown coldly.

"Exactly, dear wife. Which is why I will feel no remorse or guilt for killing you." He pressed the gun further into her back.

"Do you really imagine that that will solve anything?" Demanded Mr Green, "your wife will be dead and you'll have to live with the guilt that you murdered her."

"Why should I care? I murdered Mr Boddy, and had you all do my dirty work. This is the murder I will take most enjoyment in." Wadsworth leaned in to her and lifted her hand. He kissed it in a gentlemanly manner before walking around in front of her and taking hold of her chin with his free hand. "It has been a pleasure knowing you, my dear, but all good things must come to an end." The guests heard the trigger click ready for the shot. Mrs White stared at the poor girl in sympathy. Even Miss Scarlet looked horrified.

"Is that so?" Asked Mr Green, putting his spectacles into his pocket. "So this all has nothing to do with Mrs White's former husband's job or Colonel Mustard's work with the new secret fusion bomb."

"No, communism was just a red herring. If you will excuse me..."

At the same instant Wadsworth turned the gun on him, Mr Green took out his own gun and shot Wadsworth. He dropped like a bird. Miss Brown stared at his amused face.

Mrs White gave a small scream and Miss Scarlet clapped a hand to her mouth.

"Who are you?" Asked Miss Brown anxiously.

"FBI. Your husband has been indulging in a little more than blackmail."

"You mean, he knew? All along?" Spluttered Miss Brown, hardly daring to believe it.

"Of course. He got his own cut out of the money Boddy was making."

"The two of them? Together?"

"Yes, Miss Brown. You'll have to be taken in for questioning of course." He turned to Wadsworth's body, "James Wadsworth, butler..."

"My husband and Nicholas," Muttered Miss Brown, "it's just impossible."

"Your husband fooled everyone, Miss...Brown."

"Please, I might as well reveal my true name. Cordelia Mary Wadsworth. I was Cordelia Mary Hartley before."

"You must be Lady Hartley then?" Asked the Colonel. "I remember the Hartley name from when I was in Britain on a secret mission."

"I was, but my father stripped me of my title when I refused to marry Wadsworth. I pleaded with him to let me marry Nicholas, but he wouldn't listen. It was either marry Wadsworth or forfeit my inheritance, which would go to my brother, Bertie."

"But your brother didn't need to work, did he, if he had the inheritance?" Pointed out Mrs White.

"Bertie always liked to be independent. He wanted to make his own money. He said that there was something satisfying about it. We were very close, and to think James killed him..."

"I am sorry for your loss, Mrs Wadsworth."

"Please, address me as Cordelia, or Miss Hartley. I never wish to be known as Cordelia Mary Wadsworth again."

"Yes. I can understand that. Why did your father want you to marry Wadsworth then?" Asked Mrs Peacock. "Surely Wadsworth wasn't in the same class as you, if you'll excuse the expression."

"My father's friends were all men of high status. Most were Lords or Barons or suchlike. James was the fourth and final son of my father's friend Henry, who was a stockbroker or something, I'm not quite sure what he did. Anyway, since James had three brothers, they all got their share of the family fortunes, but James got nothing. He was told by his father that the eldest two sons would join him in the business, and the other two would have to find jobs. James trained as a butler, so it was very easy for him to disguise himself tonight."

"He was very convincing." Agreed Mrs White.

"So why did he get Yvette to kill Boddy? Surely he could have done that himself." Insisted Professor Plum.

"That would have been too obvious," Explained Mr Green, "he decided it would be easier and quicker to get Yvette to kill him."

"He used her as a pawn." Realised the colonel.

"Exactly, the same way you did." Added Miss Scarlet pointedly. The colonel frowned. "I have something to confess." She said.

"What?" Asked Mr Green, "what do you wish to confess to?"

"The singing telegram's murder. I did it. Wadsworth ordered me to. He bribed me, threatening to spill my little secret in front of everyone tonight. He knew that you were close friends with 'Emma' and so she knew about everyone too. I regret having to kill her. She worked for me once, I liked her."

"Thank you, Miss Scarlet. Anyone else?"

"I have the tape here," Announced the colonel, digging into his pocket and pulling out a tape reel.

"But you can't have. James destroyed it!" Cried Miss Brown.

"I swapped them over, lady. As soon as Miss Scarlet told me who you were I knew that Wadsworth was up to something. Your brother was a fine young man. Even if he did tell you some secrets about me. It doesn't matter now."

"Oh thank you! Thank you so much!" Miss Brown flew at the Colonel and cried into his shoulder.

"Yes. I think you've had enough to deal with tonight, Miss Hartley. You may leave, and I will need witness statements from all of you." Mr Green added to the other guests. "Can I offer to drive you home, Miss Hartley?"

Miss Brown blushed. Taking up the hem of her skirt she ran to Mr Green.

"That would be wonderful. Thank you for everything sir."

"My pleasure. Where do you live?"

"Tudor Grange, just a few miles from here."

"Ah." He smiled, and held out his arm.

"If you would care to follow me."


	9. The Murderer is Revealed Version 2

The doorbell clanged and everyone froze in terror.  
"Oh, whoever it is, they gotta go away, or they'll be killed! Ohhh!" Mrs Peacock squealed, opening the front door.  
An elderly man stood there, a pamphlet in his hand.  
"Good evening. Have you ever given any thought to the kingdom of heaven?"  
Mrs Peacock looked stunned.

"What?!"  
"Repent. The kingdom of heaven IS at hand." The man replied kindly.  
"You ain't just whistlin' Dixie." Sighed Miss Scarlet leaning against the wall.  
"Armageddon is almost upon us." The Evangelist told them.  
"I got news for you--it's already here!" Professor Plum warned him.  
Mrs. Peacock attempted to shut the door on him.  
"Go away!"  
"But your souls are in danger!" The man stammered.  
"Our lives are in danger, you beatnik!" And she slammed the door on him. Wadsworth looked from the door to Miss Brown, frowned, then continued as though nothing had happened.  
"The cop arrived next, we locked him in the library.  
We forgot the cupboard with the weapons was now unlocked,  
then we split up again, and the murderer switched off the electricity!" he raced to the cellar door and the fuse box and switched off the electricity as he had described.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to frighten you." Apologised Wadsworth smiling.  
"You're a bit late for that!" he paused and turned to Mrs White who was looking equally terrified. "I hate it when he does that!"

She gave a small squeal, not unlike that of Miss Brown.  
"Then there were three more murders." Wadsworth's tone changed and he suddenly sounded much more serious and heartless.  
"So which of us killed them?" Asked Miss Brown.  
"None of us killed Mr. Boddy, or the cook." Explained Wadsworth.  
"So who did?" Demanded Mr Green and Mrs White simultaneously.  
"The one person who wasn't with us." The guests looked at each other to try and figure it out.  
"Yvette."  
"Yvette?!" They repeated.

"I don't believe it!" Exclaimed Miss Brown, "she couldn't, she wouldn't."

"Oh, you didn't know her like I did." Snapped Miss Scarlett. Wadsworth signalled to her that he wished to continue.  
"She was in the billiard room, listening to our conversation. She heard the gunshot . . . she thought he was dead.  
And while we all examined the bullet hole, she crept into the study, picked up the dagger . . . ran to the kitchen, and stabbed the cook. We didn't hear the cook scream because Mrs. Peacock was  
screaming about the "poisoned" brandy. Then Yvette returned to the billiard room.  
She screamed . . . . And we all ran to her.  
"It's just impossible!" Remarked Miss Brown in disbelief. "when did she kill Mr. Boddy?"  
"When I said. We all ran to the kitchen to see the cook.  
Yvette hid in the study to check that Mr. Boddy was dead. He got up, and followed them down the hall, so she hit him on the head with a candlestick, and dragged him to the toilet."  
"Why?" Asked Miss Scarlet.  
"To create confusion!" Wadsworth replied.  
"It worked." Agreed Mrs Peacock.  
"Why did she do it?" Continued Miss Brown curiously.  
"Was it because she was acting under orders? From the person who later killed her?"

Wadsworth began to pace the floor looking at each guest in turn.  
"Was it one of her clients? Or was it a jealous wife? Or an adulterous doctor?  
No. It was her employer, Miss Scarlet."

"MISS SCARLET?" Repeated Miss Brown.

"Oh God..." Groaned Mrs Peacock.  
"That's a lie!!" Miss Scarlet shrieked.  
"Is it? You used her, the way you always used her. You killed the motorist when we split up to search the house."

"You killed Bertie?" Exclaimed Miss Brown, horrified. Miss Scarlet ignored her.  
"How could I have known about the secret passage?" She asked. Wadsworth smiled proudly.  
"Easy. Yvette told you. So when we split up again, you switched off the electricity. It was easy for you, here on the ground floor. Then, in the dark, you got the lead pipe and the rope, strangled Yvette, ran to the library, killed the cop, picked up the gun where Yvette dropped it, opened the front door, recognized the singing telegram from her photograph, and shot her."  
Miss Scarlet now looked very pleased with herself.  
"You've no proof."  
"The gun is missing. Gentlemen, turn out your pockets. Ladies, empty your purses.  
Whoever has the gun is the murderer."

And to their horror, Miss Scarlet pulled out the revolver. Miss Brown screamed.

"SHUT UP!" Miss Scarlet ordered furiously, "I'll shoot you!" She paused as Miss Brown stopped shrieking and turned the gun on Wadsworth.  
"Brilliantly worked out, Wadsworth. I congratulate you."  
He shrugged off the praise.

"Miss Scarlet?" Began Miss Brown cautiously, "why did you kill Bertie? What had he done to you?"

"Who is Bertie?" Asked the others.

"Shut up. Oh, did you not guess, Miss Brown's ickle brother," she imitated a baby voice and grinned smugly, "you may prove to be very useful in the future Miss Brown, all beauty no brains."

She slowly started to make her way to the front door.  
"Now, there's one thing I don't understand." Interrupted Mr Green. "Why did you do it?  
Half of Washington knows what kind of business you run.  
You were in no real danger. The whole town would be implicated  
if you were exposed."  
"I don't think they know my real business. My business is secrets. Yvette found them out for me. The secrets of Senator Peacock's defence committee, of Colonel Mustard's fusion bomb, Professor Plum's U.N. contacts, and Miss Brown's inheritance."

"How do you know about that?" Demanded Miss Brown.

"Honey, my business is secrets, it doesn't take very long to get accounts from banks if you're in my profession."  
"So. It IS political. You're a communist!" Mr Green snapped.  
"No, Mr. Green. Communism is just a red herring.  
Like all members of the oldest profession, I'm a capitalist.  
And I'm gonna sell my secrets--your secrets--to the highest bidder."

"You're going to tell everyone our secrets?" Repeated Miss Brown anxiously.

"Yes, why? You got something more to say about your affair with Wadsworth?"

The guests gasped.

"That's enough Miss Scarlet." Snapped Wadsworth, "I don't think we need to hear any more of your disgusting secrets."  
"And what if we don't cooperate?" Questioned Colonel Mustard suddenly.  
"Oh. You will." She replied sleekly, "Or I'll expose you."  
"We could expose you, Miss Scarlet. Six murders?" Miss Brown's face was now full of vengeance.  
"It is no good blackmailing me, madam.  
I have no more money!" The Colonel warned her.  
The other guests agreed.  
"I know, sweetie pie. But you can pay me in government information.  
All of you. Except you two." she turned to Miss Brown and Wadsworth.

Miss Brown shrank back, terrified.

"Move with Wadsworth!" She ordered, and Miss Brown scuttled to him.

"Wadsworth, what are we going to do?" She whispered, as Miss Scarlet paced the floor.

"This is no time to be silly, Miss Brown. Wait for the signal."

Miss Scarlet finished thinking over what she was going to do and turned the gun on the two people.  
"Except you Wadsworth and, of course Miss Dizzy Brown.  
You, as a mere butler, and she as a penniless tramp have no access to government secrets.  
So I'm afraid your moments have come."  
"Not so fast, Miss Scarlet. I do have a secret or two." Wadsworth warned her, pushing Miss Brown behind him.  
"Oh yeah? Such as?"  
"The game's up, Scarlet. There are no more bullets left in that gun."

"Do you really want to take that chance, Wadsworth?" Hissed Miss Brown.

"Believe me, I know what I'm doing, Miss Brown. This is no time to be smart."  
"Oh, come on, you don't think I'm gonna fall for that old trick?"  
"It's not a trick. There was one shot at Mr. Boddy in the study.  
Two for the chandelier, two at the lounge door, and  
one for the singing telegram."  
"That's not six."  
Wadsworth counted out the shots on his hand.  
"One plus two plus two plus one."  
She paused to think and Miss Brown began to move slyly away from Wadsworth.  
"Uh, uh. There was only one shot that got the chandelier. That's one plus two plus ONE plus one."  
"Even if you were right, that would be one plus one plus two plus one, not  
one plus TWO plus one plus one." He told her.  
"Okay, fine. One plus two plus one--" Wadsworth couldn't help but smile. "Shut up! Point is, there's one bullet left in this gun...I can easily kill you, Miss Brown so don't worry," She warned her, "and guess who's going to get the bullet?"  
The doorbell rang and Miss Brown bolted into the study. Miss Scarlet was temporarily distracted by it, and Wadsworth, seizing his chance, twisted her arm around, snatched the gun and forced her to kneel on the floor. The police poured in and Miss Brown slammed the study door. Mr. Green cowered by the closet in the foyer.  
Colonel Mustard raised his hands.

"I'm only a guest!"  
Wadsworth was still holding Miss Scarlet  
"Where's the chief?" He demanded.  
The evangelist walked in and Mrs Peacock gaped at him.  
"Ah, Wadsworth, well done." He turned to Miss Scarlet, "I did warn you, my dear. Mr. Hoover is an expert on Armageddon."  
Scarlet was pulled to her feet. Wadsworth grinned slyly at her.  
"Wadsworth, don't hate me for trying to shoot you..."  
"Frankly, Scarlet, I don't give a damn. As I was trying to tell you, there are no bullets left in this gun. You see?" He pulled the trigger and a bullet shot out, hitting the rope of the other chandelier.

"One plus two...plus one..."

"plus two...plus one..." Continued the Colonel, counting them out on his hands.

!-- page { margin: 2cm } P { margin-bottom: 0.21cm } --

Miss Brown came out of the study and gaped when she saw Wadsworth with Miss Scarlet.

"Chief, I have the evidence in my possession and the other guests have given full confessions." Wadsworth explained.

"Well done Wadsworth. Once again a case wrapped up through your capable hands."

"You mean, you're not really a butler?" Questioned Miss Brown innocently.

Wadsworth let his head fall into his hand in exasperation and the Chief smiled.

"That's one case you won't be able to solve." He chuckled.

Meanwhile the Colonel was still thinking through the count of shots.

"It's six!" He announced, and Wadsworth and the Chief stared at him. "Thank goodness for that!"

The chandelier cord snapped and the chandelier came crashing to the floor behind him.


	10. The Murderer is Revealed Version 3

THE FINAL ENDING (EDITED)

"Sorry, didn't mean to frighten anyone."

"It's a little late to say that!!" Squealed Miss Brown.  
"Then, there were three more murders." Explained Wadsworth ignoring her and beginning to stride the length of the hall.  
"So who did it!?" asked the guests.  
"Let's consider each murder one by one. Professor Plum, you knew that Mr. Boddy was still alive. Even psychiatrists can tell the difference between patients who are alive or dead. You fired the gun at him in the dark and missed, so you pretended he was dead. That's how you were able to kill him later, unobserved."  
"That's right! He was the missing person in the kitchen after we found the cook dead!" Exclaimed Miss Scarlet.  
"But he was with us in the billiard room when we found Yvette screaming. If that's when the cook was killed, how did he do it?" Asked Mr Green.  
"I didn't!!" The Professor snapped.  
"You don't expect us to believe that, do you?" Sneered Mrs Peacock.  
"I expect you to believe it. You killed the cook. She used to be your cook, and she informed on you to Mr. Boddy."  
He led the guests into the dining room and sat down in Mrs Peacock's chair.  
"You made one fatal mistake! Sitting here, at dinner, Mrs. Peacock told us that she was eating one of her favourite recipes." He paused and began to rise slowly. "And monkey's brains, though popular in Cantonese cuisine, are not often to be found in Washington, D.C."  
Wadsworth prevented the Colonel from escaping as he ran for the door.  
"Colonel Mustard, when we saw the motorist at the front door . . . you took the key to the weapons cupboard out of my pocket. Then you suggested that we all split up. You separated from Miss Scarlet, crossed the Hall, opened the cupboard, took the wrench, ran to the conservatory, entered the lounge through the secret passage, killed the motorist with a blow on the head." he mimed holding a wrench, "like that!"

"Oh my goodness. You killed Bertie!" Miss Brown squealed. "Why would you do that?"

"Who is Bertie?" Asked Mr Green, curiously.

"He was my driver during the war," Explained the colonel.

"He was my brother!" Snapped Miss Brown hotly, "why on earth did you do it?"

"He informed on me to Mr Boddy." Replied the colonel and Miss Brown dissolved into fresh tears. Mrs White smiled at her before Wadsworth suddenly pulled her away up the stairs and dropped her.  
"This is incredible!" She gasped.  
"Not so incredible as what happened next! After we all split up again, I went upstairs with you, yes, you, Mrs. White!" He stopped on the landing. "And, while I was in the master bedroom . . .You hurried downstairs and turned off the electricity, got the rope from the open cupboard, and throttled Yvette."  
Wadsworth ran back down the stairs and stood outside the billiard room.  
"You WERE jealous that your husband was schtuping Yvette. That's why you killed him, too!"

"I can't believe it," Began Miss Brown, "Is it true? Did you kill her?"  
"Yes . . . " She paused and took a deep breath, "Yes, I did it. I killed Yvette. I hated her . . . so . . . much . . . I-It-It--flame--flames . . . on the side of my face . . . breathing . . . breath le--heaving breaths . . .heaving-- "  
Wadsworth had heard enough, and carried on.  
"While you were in the billiard room, Miss Scarlet seized the opportunity and, under cover of darkness, got to the library, where she hit the cop, whom she'd been bribing, on the head with the lead pipe!"

"How come?" Asked Miss Brown, "they might have run into each other?"

The others rolled their eyes and Wadsworth sighed.  
"True or false?" He added to Miss Scarlet.  
"True! Who are you, Perry Mason?"  
"So it must have been Mr. Green who shot the singing telegram!" Exclaimed Miss Brown.

"I didn't do it!" Mr Green spluttered.  
"Well, there's nobody else left." Admitted the Colonel.

"Apart from Miss Brown, Colonel." Interrupted Wadsworth.

"Well, I'm sure she couldn't have done it. Mr Green must have."

"But I didn't do it!" He paused in thought."The gun is missing! Whoever's got the gun, shot the girl!"  
To their horror, Wadsworth pulled out the gun from his pocket.  
"I shot her." He announced. Miss Brown gaped and then let out a piercing scream.

"Wadsworth, what do you mean by that?" She asked.

"He shot her. Duh." Snapped Miss Scarlet.  
"So it was you." Announced Mr Green, in a slightly more serious tone.  
"What? You mean that he isn't really a butler?"

"NO!" Snapped the others, realising the situation.

"I was going to expose you." Continued Mr Green.  
"I know. So I choose to expose myself."  
"You thought Mr. Boddy was dead. But why? None of you even met him until tonight."  
"You're Mr. Boddy!" Exclaimed Miss Brown, "but...you can't be..." She seemed to be over-acting just a little.

"Oh, Miss Brown, it has been so amusing torturing you all evening when you thought you knew who I was. I guessed straight-away that the motorist knew you, I thought it might be nice for you to say a final farewell..."

Miss Brown stared at him as he grinned and began to chuckle evilly.  
"Wait a minute!" The Professor interrupted. "So who did I kill?"  
Wadsworth merely shrugged.  
"My butler."  
"You wouldn't honestly set your butler up, would you?" Asked Miss Brown worriedly.

"Miss Brown, I must ask you to come here and stand with me."

Miss Brown looked around the others who nodded at her to join Wadsworth.

"Excellent. Now, I have you to help me with the next step." He paused and used the revolver to wave the Professor to join the group. "May I introduce someone?" He asked carelessly.

"Ok." Replied Miss Scarlet, "who is it?"

Wadsworth held out his hand.

"Miss Brown, would you care to tell us your true identity?" He asked firmly, pushing her forward.

Miss Brown nodded obediently.

"WAIT!" Interrupted Mr Green, "tell us why you did it."  
"He was expendable, like all of you. I'm grateful to you all for disposing of my network of spies and informers. Saved me a lot of trouble. Now there's no evidence against me."

"But, the police will be here any minute! You'll never get away with this, any of you!" Mr Green reminded them.  
"Why should the police come? Nobody's called them. So why shouldn't we get away with it? We'll stack the bodies in the cellar, lock it, leave quietly one at a time, and forget that any of this ever happened."

Mr Green watched as Miss Brown opened her purse and drew out the pretty little glass bottle 'Mr Boddy' had given her earlier.

"Oh, Wadsworth," She began, "I think you've forgotten something."

She shook the empty bottle in his face. He stared at her, puzzled.

"What's that for?" He asked.

"Haven't you noticed something?"

"No." He replied curtly.

"The poison you ordered me to put in the drinks..."

"Yes, what about it?"

"Well, you see...I...had an accident with it...I gave 'Mr Boddy' the wrong glass." She turned to the others and grinned slyly.

"What are you talking about, you silly girl?" Demanded Wadsworth in amusement.

"Well, I didn't mean to...I gave Mr Boddy's glass to you..."

Wadsworth chuckled again but then realised what he had done.

"You...put...poison...the poison in my glass?"

Miss Brown nodded happily.

"That's right. It's like you said earlier, Wadsworth, I am only here to keep my husband happy."

"He's your husband!" Repeated the guests in shock.

"Oh good show Miss Brown." Sneered Wadsworth. "I told you to keep quiet."

"Oops." She apologised, with a sly grin, "I'm so sorry Wadsworth, I didn't mean to..."

"You never do, Miss Brown." He sighed.

"I might as well tell them now..."

"For goodness' sake." Snapped Wadsworth.

"I am Wadsworth's wife." She announced.

"I can't believe it!" Exclaimed Mrs Peacock, "so was she in with you, the real Mr Boddy then?"

"Don't be ridiculous," Scoffed Wadsworth, "do you honestly think I would trust her to do anything? Her job is to stay at home and look after the house."

"I don't think she's as dumb as you make her out to be, Wadsworth." Snapped Mrs Peacock.

"Although you can't deny, it is a possibility." He retorted, turning to her.

"I demand to know why you told us that pathetic story." Mrs White continued.

"To get your sympathy, Mrs White. Isn't it obvious?"

"No," Replied Mrs White, "to stand there and lie to us, how do you think your wife feels?"

Wadsworth walked to her and smiled.

"To be honest, Mrs White. I don't give a damn."

She stamped on his foot causing him to yell out in pain.

"So what do you propose we do with him?" Asked Mrs White to Mr Green.

"What do you mean, Green? I haven't finished with you yet." Demanded Wadsworth, limping back to Miss Brown and turning back to the guests.

"Haven't you?" Asked Miss Brown.

"I've heard enough from you." Wadsworth snapped coldly. "Get back with the others."

Miss Brown obediently shuffled back to the group.

"Miss Brown thinks she has beaten me," He sneered, "but you'll be paying me double what you have been if you tell anyone about this."  
"So you'll just go on blackmailing us all." Murmured Mr Green nervously.  
"Of course. Why not?" Wadsworth replied, his mouth twisted into a crooked grin. Miss Brown looked at Mr Green, knowing what he was about to do.

"Well, I'll tell you why not." He whipped a pistol from his pocket and Wadsworth, realising what was coming next tried to get off a shot, but he was far too late. Mr Green's bullet hit him in the chest.  
"Oh, good shot, Green."  
He slid down the side of the closet door and reached into his pocket exposing large amounts of blood on his hand.  
"Oh, very good . . ." His head slid back and he was dead.

"Thank you, sir." Exclaimed Miss Brown delightedly to Mr Green who whirled around and poised the gun as if fearing another attack.

"Indeed, Miss Brown, it was a pleasure." He paused and turned to the others, "FBI. That phone call from J. Edgar Hoover was for me."

"So did Wadsworth know, then?" Miss Brown asked.

"He must have guessed when he took the call, yes. You were very lucky, Miss Brown."

"Did you really put poison in his drink?" Asked the Colonel.

"What drink?" Asked Miss Brown slyly, "didn't you notice? Wadsworth is tee-total." She grinned innocently and the guests realised just how clever she'd been.

"What did you put it in, then?" Asked Miss Scarlet.

"His pocket. With the key."

"He threatened you, didn't he?" Asked Mrs White curiously.

"How did you know that?"

"We heard you. He told you not to say a word, or it wouldn't just be Boddy you'd have to worry about."

"Now I understand." Exclaimed Mrs Peacock, "back in the study Wadsworth said he would put Mr Boddy behind bars and you said 'there's nothing I'd like more' I thought you were referring to the blackmail."

"No, I was giving you a clue. My husband was very clever. He managed to fool you all."

"I told you I didn't do it!" Announced Mr Green, throwing open the front door and letting in the officers, who ran straight for the guests with their hands up.

"Right, so who did it?" Demanded the Chief.

The guests began to dispute.

"They all did it," Explained Mr Green, "except Miss Brown here." He dragged her up to meet the Chief. "Wadsworth's unfortunate wife."

"Good to see you again, my dear." The Chief smiled, "so, what did he do this time?"

"Oh, nothing much, just blackmail and murder." She sighed.

"What will you do now, Miss Brown?"

"Oh, just go home I suppose. It's like I said earlier. I'm only here to keep my husband happy."

She grinned.

The Chief laughed.

"Yes, yes. Can we offer to drive you anywhere?"

"Oh, no, I think I'll stay here." She replied, looking around at her surroundings.

"Why?" Asked the guests, looking bewildered.

"I'm the butler's wife. I like to keep the kitchen tidy." She announced in a clear imitation of Wadsworth's pompous manner.

Miss Scarlet sniffed but even she couldn't suppress a laugh.

The Chief looked from Mr Green to Miss Brown and smiled.


	11. The Murderer is Revealed Version 4

SO HOW ABOUT THIS?

The doorbell clanged and everyone froze in terror.  
"Oh, whoever it is, they gotta go away, or they'll be killed! Ohhh!" Mrs Peacock squealed, opening the front door.  
An elderly man stood there, a pamphlet in his hand.  
"Good evening. Have you ever given any thought to the kingdom of heaven?"  
Mrs Peacock looked stunned.

"What?!"  
"Repent. The kingdom of heaven IS at hand." The man replied kindly.  
"You ain't just whistlin' Dixie." Sighed Miss Scarlet leaning against the wall.  
"Armageddon is almost upon us." The Evangelist told them.  
"I got news for you--it's already here!" Professor Plum warned him.  
Mrs. Peacock attempted to shut the door on him.  
"Go away!"  
"But your souls are in danger!" The man stammered.  
"Our lives are in danger, you beatnik!" And she slammed the door on him. Wadsworth looked from the door to Miss Brown, frowned, then continued as though nothing had happened.  
"The cop arrived next, we locked him in the library.  
We forgot the cupboard with the weapons was now unlocked,  
then we split up again, and the murderer switched off the electricity!" he raced to the cellar door and the fuse box and switched off the electricity as described.

The lights came on again.

"I'm sorry, didn't mean to frighten you." Wadsworth apologised.

"It's a bit late for that!" Snapped Mrs White crossly.

"In the dark, the murderer ran across the hall to the study...got the lead pipe and the rope, throttled Yvette and hit the cop on the head, then they raced back upstairs to the attic."

"The attic!" Exclaimed the guests.

"Oh, well done Wadsworth." Sneered Miss Brown in a voice quite unlike the mousy squeal that she had been using all evening. She clapped her hands sarcastically and laughed.

Wadsworth shrugged.

"The murderer ran back down the stairs recognised the singing telegram and shot her, knowing all too well who she was. Then, upon hearing the sound of a scream, I ran downstairs and switched the electricity back on. The murderer hid in the study to avoid being caught. When they heard footsteps they slipped through the secret passageway to the kitchen and whilst I checked the rooms, slipped back up the staircase and stayed there."

"So who did it?" Asked Mrs Peacock.

"Let's find out, shall we? Gentlemen, turn out your pockets, ladies empty your purses, whoever has the gun is the murderer."

But no one took out the gun. Wadsworth stared around at them, a puzzled look on his face.

"Not as easy as you thought, hmm, Wadsworth?" Sneered Miss Brown in that same cold voice.

"I'm not sure I like your tone, Miss Brown."

"That doesn't matter. What matters is that you all listen to me now." She drew out the gun from her purse. "Wadsworth, I think you know what will happen if you attempt to sabotage me."

"Yes, Miss Brown."

"I must say, it's delightful not to have to put on that silly voice any more. Especially after what I went through to get here."

"What do you mean?" Asked Mrs White curiously.

"Wadsworth, you seem to know everything, why don't you tell them?" She commanded.

"Oh, I don't think so, Miss Brown."

"Don't you remember me?"

Wadsworth shuffled uncomfortably.

"Should I, Miss Brown?"

"Well, of course since you threatened me earlier this evening."

"Yes, I know that, Miss Brown. I am confused."

"Oh, well, maybe you can tell us the identity of the Motorist, then?" She snapped.

"I don't understand."

"I think you do. If you don't, I'm sure the Colonel will be able to clear things up." She turned to the colonel who was shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other.

"I don't understand what you mean, Miss Brown." He replied.

"Don't you? You killed my husband!"

"Your husband? But, I can't have…"

"You did. You hit him with the wrench. How could you do that to him?"

"He informed on me to Mr Boddy."

"No he didn't. I did that. So, are you going to kill me too?"

"No madam." He paused and shook his head. "I'm sorry. I thought he did it."

"What reason would he have? He worshipped the very ground you walked on."

"I'm sorry, Mam. If I'd have known…Why would you inform on me?"

"You nearly killed him when you took the Air Force radio parts out of his brother's plane. Tommy died because of you. I would never forgive anyone who tried to kill my husband."

"But it wasn't intentional, Mam."

"Nevertheless, you deserve to die more than anyone else."

"I think that's a bit much, don't you, Miss Brown?" She heard Wadsworth say.

She spun around and pointed the gun at him.

"Don't talk to me about hasty decisions, Wadsworth!"

Wadsworth didn't flinch.

"You were our butler, don't you remember?"

"Well…yes…in a manner of speaking, Miss Brown."

"Exactly, and it was you who put me in contact with Mr Boddy, a so called friend of yours."

"You!" Cried the other guests in alarm.

"Why not? There's money to be made." Miss Brown explained, "you didn't feel as though you were getting paid enough, so you joined Boddy and took your own share."

"That is ridiculous, Miss Brown. I merely told Mr Boddy that you had some information for him."

"Then you disguised yourself and went to Miss Scarlet's 'business' where you met Yvette. You told her that you needed some information for Mr Boddy on several people. She then wormed her way into Mrs White's husband's life and had an affair with him, collecting valuable information about his job. After satisfying Boddy with your founding's, you moved on to Mrs Peacock's husband's work, where you found a cook who was willing to collect information she heard at the Peacocks' residence and send it to you for Boddy. You knew of a man in the State Department who fed you the information on Mr Green, and then regrettably, when my husband fell into a depression, Professor Plum was his psychiatrist and you found his medical letters to my husband in the drawer of his study, and using this, you discovered the Professor's guilty secret. And that, my dear friends," She turned to the guests, "is the truth about James Wadsworth!"

The guests stared at her for a moment and then turned to Wadsworth.

"Is that the truth?" Mrs White hissed.

Wadsworth hadn't moved and he didn't look at all regretful for his actions.

"Yes, it is." He took a deep breath, "but of course, you must know that I am not the only guilty one here. Miss Brown here played a part in the scheme, as the Colonel has just explained."

"At least she isn't a murderer." The Professor snapped.

"Oh, you think not? Why do you think she is telling you all of this? It certainly isn't to make you feel any better. She has her own secret."

"Wadsworth, I'm warning you now." Miss Brown told him, "I will shoot you."

Wadsworth walked straight up to the nozzle of the gun.

"Very well then. Shoot me, Miss Brown."

The guests gaped at him. They hadn't expected him to react so rashly.

The gun trembled in her grip and she pulled back the trigger until it clicked.

"What's the matter, Miss Brown? Have you lost your nerve?"

Her lip began to tremble and she seemed to break down inside.

"Hahaahhaa!" Cackled Wadsworth, "I thought not."

And that was when Miss Brown lost all control. She pulled the trigger sharply and a bullet shot out, narrowly missing Wadsworth.

"I'm so sorry!" She screamed.

"You stupid, immature little girl!" Wadsworth sneered, "Did you honestly think you could defeat me?"

Miss Brown shook her head.

"Exactly. I thought not." Wadsworth seized hold of her neck and began to press his fingers down hard, choking her.

"No!" Mrs White squealed, and Mr Green and the Professor ran to help Miss Brown, "let go of her, Wadsworth!"

But Wadsworth seemed determined to kill her.

Mr Green pulled him away and they held his arms against the banisters. Miss Brown held a hand against her throat and the women clustered around her, horrified.

"Oh my God!" Mrs Peacock cried, "how could you do that to her?"

"After she humiliated me, I think I have a right to, don't you?"

"Not really." Replied the Professor, "she's a lot smarter than she looks."

"How, exactly?"

"She worked out how you were related to each victim."

"Oh, that's not all. I can tell you how he did it. Remember in the study earlier, when he was showing us the secret passage, he said 'don't be ridiculous, if I was the murderer, why would I reveal to you how I did it?' he actually meant that none of you would be able to work it out. No one would suspect a kindly if slightly pompous English butler of murder at a country house. In England, we have an author who writes crime novels, and they're always solved on the last page. Wadsworth knows all about those, after all, he is an Englishman."

"I'm confused." Interrupted Mrs White, "are you saying that Wadsworth used a book to plan all these murders?"

"No, but he knew exactly what he was doing, didn't you, Wadsworth?" Miss Brown turned to him.

"Yes, Miss Brown." He replied curtly.

"So, if I may, can I tell you what happened from my point of view?"

"Yes." Murmured the guests lazily.

"Very well. The first murder of Mr Boddy happened in the study, did it not?"

"Yes."

"Well, Wadsworth snatched the gun from Professor Plum in the dark and shot at Mr Boddy. He then dropped the gun next to the body so he wouldn't be implicated. Then after Mrs Peacock's hysteria, we raced to Yvette in the billiard room. It was meant to be a diversion so Wadsworth could kill the cook, but everyone would have noticed that he was missing so when we returned to the study and realised that there was only one more person in the house, the cook, we all raced out. Wadsworth remained behind and quickly slipped through the portrait into the kitchen where he stabbed the cook and dragged her body to the freezer, closing the door behind him. We all searched the kitchen and suddenly the cook fell out of the freezer. Although none of you noticed, Wadsworth appeared afterward, when the colonel questioned him.

We decided to take the body back to the study and discovered Mr Boddy was missing."

"How did he do it then?" Questioned the colonel.

"Upon return to the study after killing the cook, Wadsworth found Yvette with Mr Boddy, who was still alive, and he got up, and tried to escape, so Wadsworth seized the candlestick and hit him over the head whilst Yvette watched. Am I correct so far, Wadsworth?"

Wadsworth glared at her.

"Absolutely, my dear Miss Brown."

"Then when we came back to the study with the cook's body, we found it was gone. Yvette moved the body after Wadsworth arrived in the kitchen. They were in league with each other."

"Poppycock, Miss Brown." Snapped Wadsworth, "You have an extraordinary imagination."

"So, when the motorist arrived at I pointed out that I knew him, Wadsworth knew that he would have to get rid of him, because he knew the truth, so he took Colonel Mustard aside and commanded him to find some way of separating us all. Isn't that right, Colonel, sir?"

The colonel stared at her, amazed.

"How did you know that?"

"Can you keep a secret, sir?" the colonel nodded and leaned in to her, "so can I."

"This is extraordinary!" Cried Mr Green, "so what happened next?"

"Well, after Colonel Mustard's suggestion, we all split up. Wadsworth ordered me to go with him, but I knew he was going to kill me if I did. I went with you, Mr Green, and Yvette to the attic. I heard someone downstairs after they switched off the electricity and sneaked away from Yvette and Mr Green to investigate, and I saw Wadsworth run downstairs. He couldn't see me, because of the dark, but I knew what he was planning to do. I felt guilty because I didn't manage to save the Motorist's life. Next thing I hear is Miss Scarlet's scream. Wadsworth has, by this time, run back upstairs and into the master bedroom. When he hears the scream and the lights are restored, he falsely runs into Mrs White, Yvette and Mr Green and they collide, allowing him some time to prepare himself. Once we rejoin them downstairs Wadsworth seizes the opportunity to feign losing the key and hopefully, with luck, he will be able to keep the Colonel and Miss Scarlet locked up in there for as long as possible until he can kill them both."

"Oh my God!" Exclaimed Miss Scarlet, "is it true?"

"Indeed, my dear Miss Scarlet." Wadsworth admitted carelessly.

"So after the policeman arrived and Wadsworth locked him into the library, we set about clearing the chandelier up. Whilst we were occupied, Wadsworth slipped the gun into his pocket. Then the policeman demanded to be let out, so to create a diversion I began to cry and Miss Scarlet organised the little 'party' in the study and the lounge. I felt desperate by this time. I wanted to let you all know what could happen to you, but with the policeman around, I couldn't make Wadsworth suspicious."

"So, Miss Brown, is he a real butler or not?" Asked Mrs Peacock.

"In a manner of speaking, yes." She replied nervously.

"How do you know each other, then?" Miss Scarlet persisted curiously.

"He was our family butler, once." Explained the girl, "I'm sorry I accused you earlier Colonel. I had to find some way of getting a confession out of James Wadsworth."

"That will be your last confession from me, Miss Brown." Wadsworth snapped.

He broke away from the two men holding him and backed her up against the wall, snatching the gun from the floor as he went.

"My how the tables have turned, Miss Brown. I knew you wouldn't have it in you to kill me, but I, unlike you, won't feel remorse for my actions." He held the gun underneath her chin.

"Well, ladies and gentlemen, I am afraid that this is how it all ends. If you leave quietly and without comment now, I will spare Miss Brown's life. Refuse, and I will shoot her." Wadsworth told them. "I'm very grateful to you all for confessing to your crimes, it has given me a lot to work from."

"What do you mean?" Demanded Mrs Peacock.

"I will be taking over Mr Boddy's business now. So all payments will come to me."

"No!" Miss Brown squealed, "Wadsworth, you can't do that!"

"I can, and I will, Miss Brown." He turned to the guests, "so what is it going to be? Are you going to sacrifice Miss Brown or leave quietly and forget the events of this evening?"

Mr Green looked from Miss Brown who was breathing heavily to Wadsworth who was grinning madly.

"Let her go." He commanded calmly, "Haven't you done enough to her as it is?"

"No, Green. What most of you don't seem to understand is a butler's life can be very dull. Miss Brown had me dismissed from her home after it seemed I was caught thieving. So now is my chance to take revenge on her. She was never blackmailed by Mr Boddy, I merely sent her this letter so that she would come tonight." He took a screwed up piece of paper from his coat pocket.

My dear Miss Brown

Your presence is required at Hill House, Redville, on the night of the 20th November 1954. It will be to your advantage to be present on this date, for a certain former member of the staff of your family home 'Croswell Hall' has arranged an exclusive affair of which they would care to be reunited with you. The affair will be formal so please dress appropriately.

R.S.V.P

Yours sincerely,

Mr Boddy

"You sent me the letter?" Demanded Miss Brown crossly, "you knew my father would never agree to my attending an affair of which you had organised, so you put a false name on the letter."

"Correct. Time is of the essence, Miss Brown, I will give these people another two minutes to make their decision, or I will shoot." He prodded the gun under her chin.

"But won't the police be here any minute?" Interjected Mr Green, curiously.

"Why should they come? I most certainly haven't called them."

The guests gasped.

"So you would have killed us all and just abandoned us here." Realised Mr Green worriedly.

"Exactly. So, I'm waiting for an answer." Wadsworth checked his watch. "Do I shoot her?"

"No, you don't." Replied Mr Green, whipping his own gun out of his blazer pocket and shooting Wadsworth. Wadsworth, shocked, dropped the gun and Miss Brown gave a sigh of relief. She watched as he slid to the floor and lay still.

"Are you a policeman?" She asked him.

"No, I'm an undercover agent."

"Is he dead?" She continued.

"No, he's just stunned." Miss Scarlet answered, rolling her eyes, "of course he's dead."

"Oh, dear!" Miss Brown cried, "Will I be charged?"

"No, Miss Brown. If that is your name?"

"Do you want me to tell you my real name?" She asked.

"No, not for now. Just give me your first name."

"Cordelia."

Miss Scarlet sniggered like a schoolgirl.

"Cordelia. You will have to talk to the police, you do know that, don't you?" He spoke coaxingly as if he was talking to a child.

"I understand, sir. Thank you. I was worried. I thought he was going to kill me."

"Yes, Miss Brown. So I must ask, how did you manage to work it all out?"

"Oh, it was very easy. Although he couldn't see me, I could see him. I hid in the toilet and watched him kill Mr Boddy, then I slipped through to the kitchen whilst he was deciding what to do with the candlestick, or the evidence."

"But in that dress!" Exclaimed Mrs White, "how did you do it?"

Miss Brown pulled at her dress and tugged it inwards.

"Oh I see. But, there is one thing I don't understand. How did you know Wadsworth killed Yvette, the Cop and the Singing Telegram girl?"

"I was upstairs with Yvette and Mr Green. When the lights went off again I heard Yvette leave the attic and waited until she had reached the landing before I followed her. She walked straight into the billiard room because she thought she heard someone screaming downstairs. I crept downstairs after her but I couldn't see the light fixtures box, the door to the cellar had been shut, and my black gloves were missing from the bench next to the study where I'd left them and my purse. The murderer must have been using them, I thought, and I silently sneaked to the door of the billiard room and listened in.

'Did anyone recognise you?' I heard a voice say, and I knew it was Wadsworth's, I couldn't mistake that English accent, so like my own, and I knew that he was there, lurking in the shadows, waiting to throttle her, for the rope was gone from the cupboard when I checked the study, and so was that awful heavy lead pipe. I heard Yvette call out 'it's you!' and I hid under the bench in the hall to avoid being seen, it was so dark I was easily camouflaged and I saw Wadsworth holding the lead pipe in my leather gloves and he opened the door to the library silently and hit the policeman on the head. Then the doorbell rang and that girl sang her song before Wadsworth shot her. He then raced upstairs to the bathroom, drenched himself in cold water and ran back downstairs to restore the electricity, pretending that nothing had happened."

"That is incredible." Exclaimed the Professor in awe, "you risked your own life, Miss Brown to bring Wadsworth to justice."

"Thanks, Miss Brown." Muttered Miss Scarlet, "you didn't have to do that."

"If I had had the chance, I would have let you out myself when you were locked in the lounge." I told her, "but Wadsworth is very complicated. His mind was very unhinged by our dismissal of him, I regret to say, I recognised him the moment I walked through the door at the beginning of the evening."

"He threatened you, we heard him." Explained Miss Scarlet, "he was worried you'd tell us exactly what you revealed to us a few minutes ago."

"Yes. I wanted to tell you all, how much danger you were in…but I couldn't."

"It doesn't matter now. He's dead. It's over." Cut in Mr Green, sprinting to the front door. "I told you I didn't do it."

He opened it and the police poured in to everyone's amazement.

"So, whodunit?" Demanded the chief.

"Wadsworth did it, sir." Miss Brown explained, "but Mr Green shot him."

"Wadsworth, the butler?"

"Yes sir. He used the gun in the study, the candlestick in the hall, the wrench in the lounge, the rope in the billiard room, the lead pipe in the library and the gun in the hall."

"He's certainly been busy then." The chief murmured, "right, so, who are you, my dear?"

"Forgive me, sir. I am Cordelia Brown, of Royal Levington, England."

"Miss Brown has explained how the murders occurred Chief." Mr Green told him, "She was a witness to most of them."

"How extraordinary." The chief began, "these all need to be taken in for questioning." He indicated the other guests, "but this girl, I think we've found ourselves a new undercover agent."

The other guests gaped at her. Miss Brown gave a sly wink and smiled.


	12. The Murderer is Revealed Version 5

**DISCLAIMER: This ending is taken partly from the never before released fourth ending from the film. It can be found on several fan sites. The only difference with this version is that Wadsworth actually manages to escape before Miss Brown catches up with him....**

The doorbell clanged and everyone froze in terror.

"Oh, whoever it is, they gotta go away, or they'll be killed! Ohhh!" Mrs Peacock squealed, opening the front door.

An elderly man stood there, a pamphlet in his hand.

"Good evening. Have you ever given any thought to the kingdom of heaven?"

Mrs Peacock looked stunned.

"What?!"

"Repent. The kingdom of heaven IS at hand." The man replied kindly.

"You ain't just whistlin' Dixie." Sighed Miss Scarlet leaning against the wall.

"Armageddon is almost upon us." The Evangelist told them.

"I got news for you--it's already here!" Professor Plum warned him.

Mrs. Peacock attempted to shut the door on him.

"Go away!"

"But your souls are in danger!" The man stammered.

"Our lives are in danger, you beatnik!" And she slammed the door on him. Wadsworth looked from the door to Miss Brown, frowned, then continued as though nothing had happened.

"The cop arrived next, we locked him in the library.

We forgot the cupboard with the weapons was now unlocked, then we split up again, and the murderer switched off the electricity!" he raced to the cellar door and the fuse box and switched off the electricity as described.

The lights were switched on again, and Mrs White and Miss Brown gave piercing squeals.

"Will you please stop that!" Miss Brown squealed.

Wadsworth gave her a cold glare.

"I'll tell you who did it," said Wadsworth. "We have two murderers on our hands-Mrs. Peacock and Professor Plum working together!"

"We didn't kill anyone!" Screeched Mrs Peacock, "Professor Plum and I aren't guilty of nothing."

"A double negative." Snapped Wadsworth promptly, "there is no other explanation."

Professor Plum turned to the others.

"I think there is." He began gravely, then turning on Wadsworth, "Wadsworth, _you _knew about the secret passages and, when we drew lots you could have made sure that we," he gestured to Mrs Peacock, "were partnered together."

A muscle twitched in Wadsworth's jaw.

"It's a frame up!" Exclaimed Mr Green, eagerly.

"No it isn't!" Wadsworth snapped coldly.

"I'll tell you how we find out. The gun's missing, right? Everyone, empty out your pockets and purses. Whoever has the gun shot the singing telegram girl." Instructed the Professor, calmly.  
Wadsworth suddenly drew out the gun.

"Very clever, Professor."

"You killed that girl!" Miss Brown gasped, giving a little squeal.

"He killed all of them." Professor Plum admitted sadly. "He brought us here. He knew all about us. He knew Mr. Boddy and the victims, and he had the key to the cupboard with the weapons."

The Colonel, who had remained silent beforehand, suddenly stepped forward.

"But he said the cook was killed when we were all standing in the billiard room doorway with Yvette. So it couldn't have been Wadsworth. He was there beside me."

"But I was lying," Began Wadsworth smoothly.

"That's apparent." Agreed Miss Scarlet acidly.

"I killed the Cook earlier when Mr Boddy was on the floor in the study and you were all clustered around him. It took no time at all. I simply used the secret passage from the study to the kitchen as Professor Plum realised."

Miss Brown looked horrified.

"But it can't be true…you are a kind man, a loyal friend."

Wadsworth laughed coldly, sending a shiver down Miss Brown's spine.

"Anyway, the police will be here at any moment, you won't get away with this."

"Oh, I think I will, Miss Brown. I am sure it would be impolite of me not to dispatch you to the Promised Land as well. After all, you fed Mr Boddy information on the other guests too." He clapped a hand to his mouth mockingly. "Oh dear, have I said too much?"

The guests turned on Miss Brown.

"What did you tell Boddy about us, huh?" Demanded Miss Scarlet crossly.

"Um…I told him that my school friend worked for the Singing Telegram agency, and um…"

"Anything else, Miss Brown?" Sneered Wadsworth, questionably.

"Um…I knew Colonel Mustard because he was my Father's comrade during the war…"

"And what about your relationship with me?"

"Ugh, that's sick!" Miss Scarlet scoffed, "no wonder you're so stupid, Miss Brown!"

Miss Brown shot her a hurt look.

"Why have you done this, Thomas?"

"Don't you ever learn?" Snapped Wadsworth, fingering the gun and pointing it at her.

"I do…but…I just…" She looked as though she might burst into tears. Wadsworth ignored her childish pleas and continued.

"Why did you do it?" Professor Plum asked.  
"Because," answered the mad butler, "my life has been spent in a struggle for perfection. I tried to be the perfect husband, but my wife killed herself. I tried to be the perfect butler, but I killed my employer. So I resolved that at least it would be the perfect murder however there is no pleasure in my triumph without an audience to admire it and as none of you have had the brains to expose me, I am afraid I will have to do it myself."

"Good God, man, there are ladies present!" Retorted the Colonel worriedly.

"Exactly." Agreed Miss Brown, "We don't want to see…"

Wadsworth laughed mirthlessly.

"Just what kind of man are you?" Miss Scarlet questioned.

"An extremely rich one, after I'm done with you." He snapped, taking Miss Brown's wrist. "You're coming with me." He paused.

"Anyone who tries to escape will suffer dearly." The guests nodded.

"I don't want to go with you. Someone please...HELP!" Miss Brown screamed desperately as Wadsworth pulled her into the cellar, almost carrying her down the steps.

"If you want to live to see another day, you will do exactly as I tell you." Wadsworth instructed coldly, throwing Miss Brown down onto an old trunk. "When I shoot this bullet, I want you to scream, and throw yourself to the floor. Don't make a sound, and everything that we planned will work. They have no idea that the champagne was poisoned, except for your glass. I told you to trust me, Cordelia. You do trust me, don't you?" He stroked her hair gently. Miss Brown moved back, repulsed.

"Yes, I trust you. Please don't hurt them."

"Hurt them? Cordelia, they will die within a few hours, what's the point in hurting them?" He chuckled evilly before gesturing for Miss Brown to move. "Ready?"

She nodded. He shot the wall, and she screamed loudly.

"OH MY GOD!" Cried Mrs Peacock, "He's killed her!"

The guests froze.

"What a thing to happen. I suppose he doesn't think that he needs her anymore. I mean, what's one more body?" Suggested Professor Plum fearfully.

"I can't believe he's the murderer. He seemed like such a nice person." Sighed Mrs White, "he wanted to help us."

"Help us?" Repeated Miss Scarlet, "oh no. He wanted to make fools of us."

"It was very easy to, Miss Scarlet." Announced Wadsworth, returning from the cellar wearing black gloves. "I know what you're thinking. Why would a butler want to murder all those people, including his employer? Well, as Miss Brown has just found out, no one double crosses me."

"You…killed her?" Asked Mrs White softly.

"Of course. What's one more body? Especially an old friend such as she. Easy to manipulate, without a single sensible thought in that idiotic brain of hers. I put her where she is today, and she paid Boddy instead of me." He threw off the gloves and smiled. "I'm glad you were all here to witness her death, it is just an example of how silly people can play with fire and get their fingers burnt." He laughed. "Another perfect murder to add to my collection."

"But you didn't commit the perfect murder," said the professor. "You have six witnesses to your confession."  
"Not for long," laughed Wadsworth. "Soon there will be thirteen bodies. The champagne you drank was poisoned! You'll die if you don't get the antidote in three hours. And I'm leaving now, Hahahahaha!" He ran around the house ripping all the phones out of the walls. "You can't escape and you can't call for help!"  
In the midst of Wadsworth's frenzy, the doorbell rang.  
"Don't move, any of you" said Wadsworth, suddenly serious. He dashed to the door, but the guests were blocking it.

"Get out of the way!" He ordered, desperately.

"You said don't move!" The guests retorted. Wadsworth shoved them out of the way and opened the door. There stood the elderly salesman. Wadsworth aimed the gun at him. "I thought I told you to get lost?"  
The man lunged at Wadsworth, forcing his arms back so that he dropped the gun. Several policemen appeared and burst into the guests.

"We've been poisoned!"

But the cops were not sympathetic. "Hands up!" one ordered, backing the guests against the wall and frisking them.  
The other cops searched the house and found the six dead bodies, except Miss Brown.

"Er…sir? There's a young lady down here. She looks kinda peaked." One of the officers called.

"Bring her out, Johnson." Ordered the chief.

"Oh wonderful." Sneered Wadsworth.

The officer dragged a very ruffled Miss Brown out into the hall.

"OH MY GOD!" Cried Mrs Peacock, "she's not dead!"

"No, I'm not dead." Replied Miss Brown, "_he_ tried to kill me." She pointed at Wadsworth who had been dragged by the chief into the hall and was holding him in a vicelike grip.

"Cordelia!" Wadsworth screamed, "You say one more word and this all goes up in smoke."

"Like the evidence for the informants?" Miss Brown snapped.

Wadsworth smiled crookedly.

"It doesn't matter now. You have destroyed me!"

"I haven't destroyed you. You destroyed yourself, you twisted, evil, bitter man!" She turned to the chief. "May I give him something?"

"Be my guest." Smiling, Miss Brown smacked Wadsworth hard across the face.

"Did that make you feel better, Cordelia?" Wadsworth asked sleekly, with a smirk.

"Yes, it did." Replied Miss Brown, proudly. "That's for hurting my family and ruining my father's reputation!"

Wadsworth laughed coldly.

"Oh, well done, Cordelia. I never imagined you would have that in you!"

Miss Brown flushed.

"You tricked me! You promised to make me a star, and you lied!"

"Of course, my dear. You are just one of many who trusted me to keep their secrets. They all found out the hard way…Yvette, the Singing Telegram, they trusted me with their dreams of stardom and when they couldn't pay me any more I disposed of them."

"Oh my God!" Miss Scarlet exclaimed, "it's you whose been taking my business!"

"So what did Mr Boddy have to do with it?" Demanded Professor Plum.

"He was in on it. He'd find the innocent young hopefuls, we'd take every last penny from them, and then they'd disappear, for good. That's right." Smiled Wadsworth, "I'm very grateful to you Miss Scarlet, your fine establishment has provided me with everything I need."

"How dare you do that to her!" Snapped Miss Brown haughtily, "why would you want to do that?"

"Because I've struggled with everything in my life, as I told you. My wife killed herself…why?"

"Because you wanted someone new. You dragged her down to the depths of despair." Suggested Mrs White coldly.

"Oh, no. She didn't kill herself. I killed her."

"You killed your wife?"

"Isn't it obvious? She threatened to expose me to the police when she found out what I was really doing, so I killed her." He replied carelessly. "Anyway, who are you?" He asked the chief.

"FBI," replied the man. "Who's responsible for these murders, need I ask?"

"He is!" cried the guests, pointing at Wadsworth.

"It's true," said Wadsworth. "It was the perfect murder. Let me show you how I did it."

"First, who is this young lady? Another one of your victims?"

"My name is Cordelia Brown." Miss Brown explained. "I have been caught up in this mess. Wadsworth threatened me earlier and promised that we could split the money made from tonight's escapade. I have the bruises to prove it." She held out her wrist where two fresh bruises blazed.

"What was your true intention, Wadsworth?" Demanded the chief.

"Oh, to blackmail these people of course, and hopefully gain some money from them. I killed Boddy because he refused to kill Yvette."

"Yvette was one of your victims, was she not?" The chief persisted.

"Yes. She thought she could double-cross me by helping Boddy out of the business, but I soon saw to her. May I show you how I killed them all?"

The chief relaxed his grip.

"All right then. Johnson, come over here with some handcuffs, will you?"

"NO! Don't let him go!" Cried Miss Brown, but it was too late, Wadsworth elbowed the chief in the stomach and raced across the hall to the front door. He snatched the key from a hook and flew out of the door, locking it behind him. Miss Brown managed to pull the door open before it shut and followed him in pursuit.

"I'm not going to let you get away with this, Wadsworth!" She screamed.

"Oh no? Who is going to stop me?" He retorted, racing to his car.

"I am!"

"Oh, yes, I see it now…" He pulled open the door. "Simpleton Cordelia Brown catches Thomas Wadsworth!"

"Don't underestimate me, Thomas!" Snapped Miss Brown, snatching up a brick from the rockery and hiding it behind her back.

"Of course not, Cordelia. Who found a pitiful and pathetic mess of a girl and helped her on her way? I did."

"You…I hate you! I hate what you've made me. I'm now no better than one of Miss Scarlet's employees! And you made me like that!"

"There is a price for fame, you know, Cordelia."

"I have paid it." She murmured bitterly, "but it won't make up for what you've done to all those other girls. They're all dead because of you and your scheme. My father's reputation now lies in tatters because you exposed his back-handing to the papers."

"Ah, yes, but who told me about that?"

Miss Brown clasped the brick behind her back firmly.

"I did." She muttered bitterly.

"Exactly, and who suggested that you come to America to seek your fame and fortune?"

"You did." She replied grimly and Wadsworth grinned.

"Exactly, and my girl, I think there's a lesson to be learned there. Never trust anyone who offers you something for free."

"I'll tell the police everything! I will! They'll catch you!"

"No, they won't. You are coming with me."

"I am not! I would never come with you! Not even if you got down on your knees and begged me!"

"Oh, but you will." Sneered Wadsworth.

He seized her arm firmly and pulled open the car door.

"Get in!" He ordered, but Miss Brown continued to resist, trying to catch his face and pull away from him, but the grip on her arm was too tight.

"NO! Let me go, Wadsworth! LET ME GO!" She tried to kick him, but he blocked her.

"Don't make things difficult for yourself, Miss Brown!" He warned her. "Just get into the car! Do as I say and you won't get hurt." As he attempted to push her into the car, she swung the brick from the rockery around and hit the side of his head. He slid down the side of the car and lay un-moving on the ground. She let go of the brick and stared at the corpse of the man she'd once loved and now despised, shuffling away nervously.

"HEY!" She heard the chief call, and backed up against the car. The chief looked from her to the corpse of Wadsworth and then back again.

"You?" He asked in disbelief.

"Yes, it was me. I do regret it, sir. However, I think he deserves it after everything."

"Yes, Mam, although I'm not sure it was the best course of action."

"I hated him! You understand? He was going to kill me! I had to act, in self defence!"

"Yeah, I understand, Miss. Ya gonna need to be charged though, ya need to give us some evidence…"

"He destroyed it all. It's gone! Everything is gone! I have spent years of my life at his beck and call, and now…there's nothing!"

The guests came running out.

"What's going on, Officer?" Asked Mrs Peacock.

"I killed him." Miss Brown admitted sourly.

"You did WHAT?" Repeated Mr Green, dumbfounded.

"I killed him, bashed him over the head with a brick. He tried to kill me!"

"Why?" Asked Miss Scarlet, curiously, "I thought he was smart?"

"Because I'm a danger to him. If I told them…what had happened…he'd be put away for good?"

"So why didn't you?"

"Because…I thought I loved him. I thought I could trust him…"

"You can't trust 'em, kid." The Colonel told her, "cos the butler always dunnit."


	13. The Murderer is Revealed Version 6

SO HOW about THIS?

(MRS PEACOCK ENDING)

"In the dark the murderer ran across the hall to the study, got the rope, strangled Yvette," He mimed strangling Mrs White, "got the lead pipe, hit the cop on the head and the doorbell rang. The murderer ran across the hall, picked up the gun where Yvette dropped it, opened the door recognised the singing telegram from her photograph, shot her, then ran back to the cellar."

"The cellar!" Cried the others, as Wadsworth dragged Mrs Peacock to the door of the cellar.

"But Colonel Mustard wasn't in the cellar!" She protested.

"No," Replied Wadsworth calmly, "but you were."

"So?"

"You murdered them all. You were the person missing in the kitchen when the cook and Mr Boddy were murdered, and the cook used to be your cook. Don't you remember your fatal mistake, at dinner you told us you were eating one of your favourite recipes, and monkey's brains, although popular in Cantonese cuisine are not often to be found in Washington DC."

Miss Brown clutched her stomach.

"Thank goodness I didn't eat it!"

"I did." Murmured Mr Green, turning a sickly shade of green, "is that what we ate?" And he raced to the toilet.

"Why would I have murdered all the others?" Demanded Mrs Peacock smugly.

"Obviously in case they had told him about you."

"So it has all nothing to do with the disappearing nuclear physicist and Colonel Mustard's work on the new fusion bomb." Professor Plum realised.

"No. Communism was just a red herring." Wadsworth replied smugly, "Mrs. Peacock did it all."

"There's no proof." Hissed Mrs Peacock.

"Well. The gun is missing. Gentlemen, turn out your pockets. Ladies, empty your purses. Whoever has the gun, is the murderer."

"Very well." Mrs Peacock drew out the gun. Wadsworth looked surprisingly calm. The other guests recoiled and Miss Brown's eyes widened in fear. "What do you propose to do 'bout it?"

"Nothing." Replied Wadsworth, "nothing at all. I don't approve of murder, but it seems you've done the world a public service by ridding it of an appalling blackmailer and his disgusting informers. Now, I suggest we stack the bodies in the cellar, lock it, leave quietly one at a time, and forget that any of this has ever happened." He walked away, a small smile on his face. Miss Brown looked at him questionably but he ignored her.

"But the police will be here any minute. What happens then?" She persisted.

"Why should the police come? Nobody's called them." He explained, and Miss Brown, in her normal way, let out a squeal.

"Oh my goodness! We're all going to die!" She began to scream.

"Will someone please silence her?!" Demanded Wadsworth, "Green, slap her, will you?"

Mr Green nervously walked over to the screaming girl and slapped her. She stopped immediately, wide-eyed.

"Thank God." Murmured Miss Scarlet crossly.

"That girl will be next if she doesn't keep her mouth shut." Mrs Peacock warned Wadsworth.

"Oh, I don't think that will be necessary, Mrs Peacock." Answered Wadsworth, "Nobody has called the police, so I suggest we stack the bodies in the cellar, lock it, leave quietly one at a time, and pretend that none of this has ever happened."

"But," Protested Miss Brown, "You told us that this house belonged to a friend of yours, how will he feel if he returns home to find six bodies in his cellar?"

Wadsworth suddenly looked flustered.

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it, Miss Brown, can you please stop interrupting me."

"Very well, Wadsworth." Replied Miss Brown sadly.

"We shall forget any of this has ever happened. Is everyone agreed?" Wadsworth asked the others, and they nodded eagerly.

"May I leave, first?" Asked Miss Brown nervously, beginning to walk to the door.

"NO, get back in your place!" Ordered Mrs Peacock, and Miss Brown scuttled behind Wadsworth, holding his shoulder for protection.

"Silly little girl." She murmured, "I'll leave first, if you don't mind."

"Be my guest. In fact, I believe we all owe you a vote of thanks." He began to sing 'for she's a jolly good fellow' in a pleasant baritone. The other guests, looking slightly bewildered, joined in, including Miss Brown, who joined Mrs White in singing up the octave.

As soon as she was out the door, the guests relaxed.

"I told you I didn't do it!" Exclaimed Mr Green.

"there is one thing I don't quite understand. Who exactly are you?" Asked Miss Brown. "Who were you speaking to on the telephone?"

"Oh, please forgive me, ladies and gentlemen. My phone call from Mr Hoover?" He repeated, Miss Brown nodded, "I work for him of course. How else could I have known everything about you all?"

"Oh I see." Miss Brown replied, "You are Mr Hoover's butler…"

"No, no, Miss Brown," The colonel tried to explain, but Wadsworth interrupted him.

"I'd leave it if I were you." He shook his head sadly.

"So what do we do now, Wadsworth?" Asked Mrs White.

"Well, you'll have to wait for Mr Hoover to take all your particulars and witness statements, it shouldn't take too long." He paused at the sound of a car door opening outside, "in fact I think they are here right now." He raced out of the front door the other guests following him.

"Wadsworth, we got her." Announced the chief, lighting a cigar.

"You see, it's like the Mounties, we always get our man."

"Mrs Peacock was a man?" Exclaimed Miss Brown and Mr Green in unison. Wadsworth slapped Miss Brown and Colonel Mustard slapped Mr Green.

"Would anyone care for fruit or dessert?" Questioned Wadsworth.


	14. The Murderer is Revealed Version 7

**DUE TO POPULAR DEMAND, I HAVE DECIDED TO RELEASE THE DRAFT ENDING WHICH BEARS A SLIGHT SIMILARITY TO THE FOURTH ENDING BUT IS SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT WITH A TWIST ON THE WADSWORTH/BROWN STORYLINE. HOPE YOU ENJOY IT! DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW!**

The Sixth Ending

The guests looked from Wadsworth to Miss Brown as the lights returned and Wadsworth was glaring at Miss Brown as though he wanted to kill her.

"So Wadsworth," Began Miss Scarlet, "Are you going to tell us the truth about Miss Brown or do we have to guess?"

Wadsworth merely laughed and pulled out the gun from his pocket. Miss Brown rushed to the colonel.

"Father, don't let him kill me!" She pleaded, clutching at his shirt braces.

"Father?" Repeated the others.

"Yes, Miss Brown's father is the Colonel." Wadsworth explained carelessly.

"Look here, Wadsworth, my daughter may have done something wrong, I won't deny it, but you don't have to kill her."

"Oh, I think I do," He pointed the gun at her, "After everything she has put me through, I think I have a right."

"Wadsworth, please explain," Insisted Mrs White.

"Very well. Miss Brown accused me of stealing from her when I worked for her at your home." He turned to the colonel.

"You worked for us? That must have been when I was in the Army."

"Yes, it was, Colonel. Your daughter got the police involved when really it was her stealing from you and pretending that I had done so. Then, later, she discovered that I was involved in something big, Mr Boddy's dastardly blackmail, so she used that against me and had me dismissed."

"Daddy, it wasn't like that!" Miss Brown pleaded, "He's lying."

"I promise you, I am not, Colonel. Your wife threw your daughter out, why?"

"Because she needed to learn independence."

"No, because your wife found out that she was planning to use your military contacts in the blackmail scheme. She found the papers on your desk and bribed your comrades to tell them the secret missions and such."

"Daddy, I didn't!" Miss Brown sobbed, "I swear I wouldn't do that to you."

"That's why you killed the motorist, isn't it, Miss Brown? Because he'd threatened to tell your father the truth about what you were doing."

"You killed Harrison?" Asked the colonel, frowning at his daughter.

"Daddy, please forgive me. I thought...if I...killed him...you would never find out."

Wadsworth smiled smugly.

"But that wasn't your only victim, was it, Miss Brown? You killed Yvette too. You were angry that your father was having an affair with someone rather than your mother, so you killed her. In spite and cold blood."

"Does your daddy know what you've been doing for me?" Asked Miss Scarlet grinning wickedly.

"Oh, God, please..." Stammered the Colonel, staggering over to a bench and sitting down.

"Miss Scarlet, what do you have to say?" Asked Wadsworth.

"Miss Brown's been working for me for over two years now." She explained, and Mrs Peacock tutted.

"What a spoilt brat." She hissed to the Professor, who was staring at the girl puzzled. He had recognised her from the beginning of the evening, and now it became clear to him who she was.

"A patient of yours?" Suggested Wadsworth, seeing the Professor's strained expression.

"Yes, yes. Many years ago now."

"Please...no more." The Colonel gasped. "I've heard enough."

"I'm afraid I can't let her get away with this, Colonel." Sighed Wadsworth, fingering the gun in his hand. "Not after all those murders. Yvette, the Motorist and of course, the policeman."

"But YOU killed Mr Boddy!" Retorted Miss Brown crossly.

"What proof do you have?" Wadsworth asked, "Colonel, you should have taught your daughter some respect for herself and other people."

"I'll give you anything; please don't take her from me!" The Colonel pleaded, "She's all I've got now. Her mother's dead."

Wadsworth began to chuckle evilly.

"Oh very good, Miss Brown. The tears were a little melodramatic. No matter. Colonel, join the other guests, please." The colonel looked from his daughter to Wadsworth and she nodded so he scuttled to join the rest of the group.

"Now, Miss Brown." Wadsworth began in that cold heartless voice he had used before, "It is a shame to have to shoot you..."

"Even more so with the fact that I have poisoned you!" She snapped.

"Poisoned me?" Wadsworth looked puzzled.

"Yes, back in the study. That's why I stopped Mrs Peacock drinking out of the glass. I couldn't make you suspicious so I swapped them whilst you were chasing 'Wadsworth."

"But he's Wadsworth," Exclaimed the Professor.

"No he isn't." Retorted Miss Brown, crossly.

"Oh my God. You're Mr Boddy." Realised Mr Green.

Wadsworth gave another evil chuckle.

"Actually, that's another alias, I have many of them. It prevents anyone from finding out who I really am."

"So what is your real name?" Asked Miss Scarlet coolly.

"I'm not sure that's of any concern to you, Miss Scarlet."

"I can tell you." Replied Mr Green, "Thomas James Waddington, am I right?"

Wadsworth gaped at him.

"How did you know that?"

"FBI." He explained, pulling a card out of his pocket.

"I don't believe it."

"I've been searching for you for a long time, Thomas. Thankfully Miss Brown here agreed to play a part in tonight's proceedings, so there will be no escape this time."

Wadsworth began to chuckle.

"Oh really? You think that I didn't expect something like this to happen?"

"What do you mean?" Asked Miss Brown nervously.

"Well, of course, the champagne was poisoned."

"Poisoned?" Repeated the guests in horror.

"That's right. There's an escape for me but not for you, I regret to say. You'll be dead within a few hours unless you can find an antidote."

"That doesn't matter!" Snapped Miss Scarlet, "We can call the hospital!"

"With what?" Demanded Wadsworth, taking bits of phone cord out of his pockets. "You can't escape and you can't call for help."

"I think you're forgetting something, Wadsworth." Began Miss Brown, standing up to face him with a steadfast expression, "I don't drink champagne, only port and tea."

"Don't try to fool me with that trick," Snapped Wadsworth, "you're the cause of all this. I would be quite content without you. You have spoilt my chances of ever being truly happy."

"I didn't drink the champagne, or the port you gave me. You put poison in the strange dish you served me as well. I know not to trust you."

"But you trusted me enough to tell your own secrets to me."

"You can't have...no..."

"What's going on?" Demanded Mrs Peacock, "why is she looking so confused?"

"Because I have caught her out." Replied Wadsworth simply.

"My fellow guests, I would advise you to leave." Announced Miss Brown hastily.

The guests looked at each other.

"You can't." Wadsworth ran to the front door and blocked it. "No one is leaving this house."

"Is that so?" Demanded Miss Brown, "Mr Green, if you would do the honours?"

"With pleasure." Mr Green whipped out a pistol and shot at the butler. He ducked and Miss Brown raced to him and pinned him to the floor.

"Finally Thomas James Waddington has been captured."

"I don't understand." Put in Mrs White, "who is he?"

"An extremely crafty and notorious criminal." Explained Miss Brown. "I would advise you not to move." She told Wadsworth.

"What are you? A detective?" Asked Professor Plum.

"I'm an actress for the FBI. I am Mr Green's assistant. I was asked to come here to support my colleague and take the place of the true victim. Of course, Wadsworth had only ever seen one photograph of her so I had to be heavily disguised; he has a very good memory."

"You can say that again." Groaned Mrs Peacock.

"Miss Brown is one of the best actresses I've worked with." Agreed Mr Green.

"Thank you, Mr Green. What shall we do with him?"

Wadsworth gave a feeble groan.

"Just have to wait until Chief gets here."

"What about us? We've been poisoned!" Screamed Mrs White.

"Don't worry. I switched the bottle when Wadsworth wasn't looking. You haven't been poisoned." Miss Brown reassured them.

"Oh no..." Wadsworth groaned.

"Thank you for your co-operation, Colonel."

"Not at all, Miss Brown, only too glad I could be of service."

"We'll have to ask all of you to write a witness statement. Thomas," Began Miss Brown, turning to Wadsworth, "I didn't kill Yvette, as you know."

"I know. I did."

"Why?" Asked Mrs White.

"Because she refused to help me in killing you all." He struggled to sit up, but Miss Brown's grip was too tight.

"Exactly. Thomas Waddington, you are hereby charged with the murders of Mr Donald Johnson alias Mr Boddy, Francine Meredith alias Yvette, Jack Harrison alias 'The Motorist', Marvin Peterson alias 'The Cop', Barbara Ling alias Mrs Ho and Mary Kravitz aka the Singing Telegram. Is there anything else we should know, Waddington?"

"I think that's quite enough for one night, don't you, Miss Brown?"

The police burst into the house and handcuffed Wadsworth.

"Well done, Garrison, and you too, Miss Winters. Excellent work." Added the Chief to the proud undercover officers.

"Oh, it was nothing." Miss Brown replied in an American accent, "I'm just pleased I could help. At last Thomas James Waddington will be put behind bars."

"Quite right, Miss Winters. Now, these people." He indicated the other guests who were looking very confused.

"They were blackmailed by Waddington. None of them had done anything wrong tonight, they were just witness to Waddington's pranks. Oh, and for your information Wadsworth, I didn't kill any of them." She pulled out a microphone from underneath her dress and waved it in front of the puzzled 'butler'.

"I think you'll find we have everything we need to know on here, Waddington." She smiled.

"Oh dash it all." Snapped Wadsworth.

"I see. Take their particulars and then you can go, Miss Winters. Thank you for all your help."

"Not at all, Mr Hoover. See you at the office."

"I have another case for you."

"Oh, thanks, sir."

I HOPE IT LIVED UP TO EXPECTATIONS, REMEMBER IT WAS ONLY A DRAFT!


End file.
